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Jirekianu2's favorite FMLs
Today, my in-laws decided they were going to stay an extra week during our vacation to Dominican Republic next year. This would be fine, if we weren't travelling for our destination wedding, and the extra week wasn't our honeymoon. They are literally joining us on our honeymoon. FML
by SadBride / 09/07/2015 at 8:39pm / United States (Delaware) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/06/2015 at 1:38am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I showed my daughter video footage from a security camera that showed her using her employee key to enter the store I own, disarming the alarm, and stealing several very valuable items. Her defense? That someone had "photoshopped" the video. We'll see how that goes down in court. FML
by Anonymous / 09/04/2015 at 1:01pm / United States (California) / Money
by Anonymous / 08/28/2015 at 3:21am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I was going down the elevator in my dorm and a friend joined on another floor. He then thought it was a good time to tell me that he slept with my girlfriend when the elevator got stuck. Worst 40 minutes of my life. FML
by smyp / 08/27/2015 at 4:23am / Lithuania / Miscellaneous
Today, my cousin's husband argued adamantly that the Earth doesn't rotate, and treated me like an idiot when I explained why he was wrong. Not even a video from space of the Earth rotating convinced him. This idiot is a teacher. FML
by Schizomaniac / 08/25/2015 at 1:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/25/2015 at 2:49am / United States / Kids
Today, I got stuck in the elevator at work. When I was finally let out, my boss decided I shouldn't get a lunch break, because I'd already had over an hour off work while in the elevator. I had to starve through 5 more hours of work. FML
by Anonymous / 08/24/2015 at 5:28pm / Italy (Liguria) / Work
by Arrkyna / 08/23/2015 at 1:42pm / Miscellaneous
by pontwa / 08/23/2015 at 9:45am / Australia / Love
Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML
by Anonymous / 08/22/2015 at 5:44am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
by cuckoo / 08/21/2015 at 11:59pm / United States (Alabama) / Love
Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML
by notwhatithought / 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm / Germany (Bayern) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 12:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss bitched me out for violating workplace privacy, after he found an FML post from last year that eerily resembled a situation that happened the same year. He thought I posted it and twisted things to make him look like an idiot. I've never posted here in my life. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2015 at 1:48pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Work
- Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, a lady came for a death certificate at the city hall reception where I work. Reflexively, I… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus…