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Jirekianu2's favorite FMLs
by BUSTED. / 12/01/2015 at 2:02pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by ujellybro234 / 12/01/2015 at 11:52am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2015 at 1:57am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my stepmom asked me to bake pies for a dinner party she was having. Since I love baking, I said yes. When I went to deliver the pies, I found out they were for a family dinner I wasn't invited to. FML
by anon / 11/27/2015 at 3:21pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spent half an hour trying to convince my husband not to re-enact a video he saw online of a guy tying some rope to a running chainsaw, then swinging it around his head. He finally agreed not to do something so stupid. A few hours later, he did it anyway. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2015 at 7:50am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my boss confirmed he is a micro-managing asshole. We walked into the office together and I turned on the lights. He switched them off and switched them on again, just to make sure that I did it right. FML
by fabz / 11/27/2015 at 7:39am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Work
Today, a cute girl I know in passing approached me very nervously and blushing like mad. She gave me a note with a number on it, said to call her, then ran away. When I called the number later, it was one of those rejection hotlines. What the hell? FML
by anthony / 11/25/2015 at 7:32am / Luxembourg / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 11/24/2015 at 8:01pm / Canada / Animals
Today, a close friend came over with her three-year-old son. The child used a crayon on the walls, flushed my money down the toilet, and threw up. My friend was seriously offended when I asked her to help me clean everything up. FML
by wellfuckyoutoo / 11/24/2015 at 12:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my friend and I were having a casual discussion about sex. Blowjobs came up and my friend said she'd never dared to give one, arguing that swallowing sperm can make you pregnant. I then had to go on with a 30 minute argument with her on how that's not possible. She's 26. FML
by LilPie / 11/19/2015 at 5:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by facepalm / 11/18/2015 at 10:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend cornered me and asked if I'm gay. I said no and asked why she even had any doubts. Apparently me being depressed and crying over my grandmother's death is "faggish" and means I want to have sex with men. Who knew? FML
by Anonymous / 11/18/2015 at 8:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I got my laptop back after lending it to my friend. It wouldn't boot, and after investigating I found out it'd been stripped of its hard drive and all its memory. When I confronted my "friend", he accused me of lying and trying to ruin his reputation. FML
by Anonymous / 11/13/2015 at 1:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…
- Today, I was an extra in a movie and I had to play a corpse. At the make up stand, they painted my… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he… Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call…