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Jirekianu2's favorite FMLs
Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors. They have a four month old child and appear to be firm believers in the "let them cry it out" philosophy. The baby's room is right above mine. A few days of trying to sleep through this shit and I'll look like a Walking Dead extra. FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2016 at 8:17am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by familypet / 01/08/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML
by fuglymug / 01/08/2016 at 4:48pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, I arrived at work to find a bullet hole in the window of the storefront we're leasing. Security assured me it had always been there and the glass shards on the floor had somehow been missed in my many vacuum passes and the pre-lease inspection two months ago, so no need to worry or fix it. FML
by anonymous / 01/08/2016 at 1:49am / United States / Work
Today, my dad took my car keys off my keychain and hid them from me. His reasoning was, "I don't want you to be driving during the winter." Guess who has to walk ten miles a day to work, through the New England snow. FML
by tiredofbullshit / 01/08/2016 at 1:06am / United States (New Hampshire) / Transportation
by its dark / 01/07/2016 at 6:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 70-year-old coworker managed to do something to our shared computer for it to not boot up. This is our 4th computer since we've been working together, and he refuses to believe that he's the problem. FML
by Anonymous / 01/07/2016 at 10:52am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML
by anne / 01/07/2016 at 7:00am / Germany / Intimacy
by idk0002 / 01/05/2016 at 11:46am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, the button on my husband's pants popped for the 4th time. I already used the strongest thread and buttons. He's obviously put on some weight around the stomach, but he won't listen to reason and still blames me for my sewing, which is making his pants "turn against him". FML
by Robyn / 01/05/2016 at 3:43am / Belgium (Limburg) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss lost the company a very lucrative contract I had worked on for weeks because he wouldn't tolerate the client's "disrespect." The disrespect? Asking him to not interrupt her or put words in her mouth during a conference call with her employees. FML
by TheGreatSquirrel / 01/04/2016 at 5:10pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by Xandriajoy10 / 01/04/2016 at 12:21am / Australia / Kids
Today, a friend who visited me a week ago with "allergy rashes" told me that it's actually scabies, and she hopes I didn't catch it from her. It takes 2-6 weeks for the symptoms to show and I can't use the medication for it anyway because I'm pregnant. FML
by itchyyet / 01/03/2016 at 12:52am / Australia (South Australia) / Health
by IHateMySister / 01/02/2016 at 5:36am / Denmark (Sjelland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend furiously bitched me out because I got more upset about my phone screen cracking than when she told me about the death of her cat. We hadn't even met when her cat died. Did she expect me to burst into tears from hearing the story? Guess who's single again! FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2016 at 5:33am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of…