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Jim9349

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Jim9349
  • Town/Country : Tokyo, Japan
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 September 1980 (33 years)
  • Number of visits : 4590
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 82 posted

About Jim9349 : You don't need to know this :)

Jim9349's last visitors

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Jim9349's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Jim9349's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

#21022635
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45569) - you deserved it (3819)

On 01/09/2014 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by ReallyMom - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

#21008990
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23612) - you deserved it (49581)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

#21001381
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36800) - you deserved it (8286)

On 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

#20989324
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45383) - you deserved it (6887)

On 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend bought a onesie. He sleeps in it, goes out in it and won't take it off, not even for sex. FML

Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

#20982547
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39042) - you deserved it (2834)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by unlucky neighbors - China (Shanghai)

Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML

#20981261
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38262) - you deserved it (2274)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by happy birthday to me (woman) - United States

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

#20979023
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39188) - you deserved it (5786)

On 12/03/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Washington)

Today, I helped a nice middle-aged lady pick out a sweater. She then opened her changing room door to ask for my opinion. I still don't understand why she had to take everything else off to try on a sweater. FML

#20968575
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43066) - you deserved it (3234)

On 11/24/2013 at 12:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

#20966996
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36490) - you deserved it (3040)

On 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

#20961862
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (2780)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14am - kids - by kids next door - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while on a family Disney world vacation, I saw a kid shitting on a public bathroom's floor. It was my kid. He's 10. FML

#20960450
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38711) - you deserved it (9813)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, I found out that when my boyfriend jokingly talks about his other girlfriend, he isn't actually joking. FML

#20928840
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46602) - you deserved it (4523)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by other woman - United States (California)

Today, I called my dad to let him know some details for my wedding had changed. It would have been really nice if he had paused the porno I could clearly hear in the background. FML

#20921288
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41033) - you deserved it (2764)

On 10/15/2013 at 6:10am - intimacy - by hes (woman) - United States

Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML

#20900036
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34182) - you deserved it (8233)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:10am - kids - by ahuman - United States



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