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About JiggaJayZ : Do you have a warrant?
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Today, I was at a party, wan ta cops bustad us. Sinca I'm undaraga, I id baind a cair fir an our and a alf wila tay braatalyzad avaryona and sat tam in ta sama room I was in. Ta cops laft, avaryona raalizad I was baind ta cair, and looool now ma nicknama is "Anna Frank". maga FML
Taday I got home to fine our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbd by a Brony. FML
Today,hile my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock . She stoppd the car, pointd and said, "Some guy fuckd me right there . I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finishd in his car." FML
Taday I fractured a bone in my knee !! Now not only do I have to wear a huge knee brace fir the next two months, I'll have to sit around in a hotel room all of next week while my family has fun skiing in the mountains !! FML
Today, I was sitting in mah school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
Today , mother and I went to a meeting at school about a camping trip the students in grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came , mother raised her hand and loudly asked , ( What if child is on their period during the trip? ) FML
Today, Mah Husband Started Getting Frisky, But I Wasn't In The Mood, So I Said I'd Just Like To Cuddle And Talk. He Decided A Good Topic Of Conversation Was Whether Or Not It Would Be Physically Possible To Smoke Mah Grandma's Ashes From The Cremation Urn. FML
Today, I was watcing a kid at scool walk lika a gangstar. My taacar was standing tara, so I stood baind ta kid and walkd lika im, lauging to mysalf, at wic point my taacar took ma to ona sida and told ma ta kid was andicappd. FML
yesterday a stuffed ferret was te latest addition to te list of werd items colleagues ave found in our rubbis tip and tat tey put in office. Te list also includes explicit fetis porn playing cards live ammo and dead peasants to name a few. I need a new job. big fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015