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Jezzikah's FML badges
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Jezzikah's favorite FMLs
by animal lover... / 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm / Animals
Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML
by ugh / 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 12:16am / United States (Nevada) / Health
Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML
by Anonyme / 08/30/2013 at 6:59am / Miscellaneous
Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML
by Jade / 08/21/2013 at 8:09pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Hank Gummyworm / 06/16/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Michigan) / Work
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- Today, the same boss that made me cry last week for something that wasn't my fault, flipped a shit… Today, I decided to sink low enough to sign up for one of those 'get paid for taking a survey site'… Today, my loneliness hit an all time low when I actually considered "accidentally" texting a random…