[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Jezabelle

Search for a member

Jezabelle
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 412
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Jezabelle's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Jezabelle's favorite FMLs

Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML

#5172036 (271)

I agree, your life sucks (39019) - you deserved it (5944)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm - kids - by Bewildered (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML

#5171509 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (35511) - you deserved it (5017)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML

#5109294 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (44906) - you deserved it (1955)

On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

#5107055 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (40889) - you deserved it (5328)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:19pm - kids - by Waheyyy (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I decided I would finally get up and weed our front yard. After a long couple of hours, I was hot and sweaty and decided to jump in the pool, with all my clothes on, just for fun. Right as I was in the air doing a cannon ball, my blackberry started to ring from my pocket... FML

#5105234 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (10228) - you deserved it (37293)

On 09/07/2009 at 1:32pm - money - by ByeByeBlackberry (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was working in a bar, a very fat drunk guy kept flirting with me. He assumed I liked him because I kept blushing. I didn’t. It’s just been so long since anyone flirted with me that I apparently now cannot control my reactions if a man talks to me. FML

#5079880 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (28149) - you deserved it (4617)

On 09/06/2009 at 11:04am - love - by beccaj_ilh (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I went para sailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. And I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

#5039169 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (32500) - you deserved it (2053)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by no_hullabalo (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-wan)

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

#5021908 (291)

I agree, your life sucks (11182) - you deserved it (47865)

On 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm - health - by keeperstride (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend down the street and a really hot guy walked past with no shirt on. While distracted by his hardened stomach muscles, I promptly walked into a pole, then became single. FML

#4994498 (198)

I agree, your life sucks (9825) - you deserved it (45603)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (32902) - you deserved it (1917)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

#4975904 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (43647) - you deserved it (2782)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:48pm - money - by adriana (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML

#2527360 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (72706) - you deserved it (5140)

On 06/02/2009 at 8:19am - intimacy - by Ariel (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

#505547 (367)

I agree, your life sucks (268313) - you deserved it (24541)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:15am - intimacy - by jilted (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047 (1012)

I agree, your life sucks (404623) - you deserved it (241694)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

#14097 (422)

I agree, your life sucks (372683) - you deserved it (33238)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)