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Jesycuh

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Jesycuh

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 August 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 308
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Jesycuh : Hey! I'm a pretty okay kid so get to know me! :D

Jesycuh's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Jesycuh's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother bought a Shakeweight, an exercise tool which, basically, simulates a hand-job to tone arm fat. I get to watch my Grandmother do this motion for 6 minutes every day. FML

#10925224
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31719) - you deserved it (4251)

On 06/02/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by GrandmaShakers (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

#9181669
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13523) - you deserved it (32399)

On 03/18/2010 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

#7981374
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28528) - you deserved it (2355)

On 02/07/2010 at 7:35pm - kids - by grrrr - United States

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

#6036159
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32524) - you deserved it (7014)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

#5063911
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13565) - you deserved it (39720)

On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

#4344107
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35704) - you deserved it (6321)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm - work - by Jacky-Boy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63937) - you deserved it (14553)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML

#3655783
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5787) - you deserved it (47161)

On 07/11/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Name (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML

#2797369
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29735) - you deserved it (49370)

On 06/11/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML



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