Jessecaca

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Jessecaca

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 947
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Jessecaca's page activity

Visits<b>martinez121797</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 7:55pm<b>TiddleyMoney</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 1:21am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 10:49am<b>Hi_ImStar</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 1:30am<b>anajanet94</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 5:28pm<b>danielhartlesss</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 8:16am<b>Free4ever</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 7:11am<b>tacojauns</b> - the 01/24/2013 at 12:53am<b>Roevera</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 2:36am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/20/2013 at 12:53am<b>TellMeWhatsDeath</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 3:31pm

Jessecaca's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

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Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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Jessecaca's favorite FMLs

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

by Sigh / 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Transportation

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

by ohfuckwaffles / 01/29/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

by GiraffeLover / 01/11/2013 at 6:36am / Australia / Love

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

by well, i am now / 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

by maxedoutidiot / 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

by me. / 12/01/2012 at 9:54am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML

by Embarassed / 11/23/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2012 at 4:39am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

by jobsearching / 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Work

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

by x / 11/11/2012 at 9:16pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML

by mary / 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML

by TJ / 08/08/2012 at 7:23am / United States (Washington) / Work