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Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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Jessecaca's favorite FMLs
Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML
by Sigh / 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Transportation
by ohfuckwaffles / 01/29/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML
by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML
by GiraffeLover / 01/11/2013 at 6:36am / Australia / Love
by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
by well, i am now / 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm / United States / Intimacy
by maxedoutidiot / 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by me. / 12/01/2012 at 9:54am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
by Embarassed / 11/23/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML
by Anonymous / 11/22/2012 at 4:39am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML
by jobsearching / 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Work
by x / 11/11/2012 at 9:16pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, some guy asked me if he could borrow my lighter. I said "of course," reached into my handbag, and gave him the lighter. He stared at me for a few seconds until I realised I'd given him a tampax. FML
by mary / 08/09/2012 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML
by TJ / 08/08/2012 at 7:23am / United States (Washington) / Work
- Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed… Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex… Today, we were swimming in gym class. There are some cute girls in our class and they were wearing…
- Today, I was taking a picture for my girlfriend on her phone when a message from another guy popped… Today, I was left by my girlfriend of 3 years because I was over-jealous of her male friend because… Today, my little cousin that's sleeping over tried to reenact the game "Elsa brain surgery" with me…