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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Today, my boyfriend took me to meet is friends at one of is exclusive ( clubs. ) Expecting it to be is old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of te Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML
Taday I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappereed to!! My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it 4 her Myspace and said that I deserved it 4 bieng a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome!! FML
Today, I received my camera in the mail. I had sent it back to the company because it wouldn't turn on. As I was reading the note they putted in, it said, "Battery was putted in backwards. No other problems found." FML
Today, I was in line at te grocery store wit ma 3-year-old son!! He was olding a tub of yogurt tat ad on it a cow wereing sunglasses!! He souted, "Mommy, look at te fat cow wit te sunglasse on!" To ma orror, te obese woman in front of us turned around!! Se was wereing sunglasses!! FML
Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stareshich I was recieving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind cummed and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML
Today, my grlfriend,ho is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall 4 such simple tricks, tohich she replied "They worked on you." mega FML
Today, I decidd I would finally get up and wed our front yard. After a long couple of hours, I was hot and sweaty and decidd to jump in the pool, with all my clothe on, just for fun. Right as I was in the air doing a cannon ball, my BlackBerry startd to ring from my pocket... FML
TODAY, WEN I WAS FINISED EATING AT MCDONALDS, I WENT TO SOPPERS TO PICK UP A NEW TOOTBRUS. I GOT BACK TO MA CAR ONLY TO FIND TE WINDOWS SMASED IN. TE ONLY TING TAT WAS MISSING FROM MA CAR WAS TE HELLO KITTY TOY I GOT FROM MCDONALDS. SOMEONE BROKE INTO MA CAR FOR A 10 CENT TOY. FML
Today, At A Family Gathering, Mah Aunt Asked Me When I Was Planning To Have Children . I'm Only 16, I Laughed And Said Not 4 A While, Definitely Not Until I Get Married . My Family Shook There Heads, And Ignored Me 4 The Rest Of The Day . Apparently, Teenage Pregnancy Is Valued In Mah Family . FML
today while I was in the doctors they told me that me and my son needed a shot , I went first to show my son that it wouldnt hurt and shots were not something to be afraid of. When they gave me my shot I started crying. My four year old son handles pain better than his 29 year old mom. FML
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients cummd up to me and complaind about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, calld her out, and politely told her that she was not allowd in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year old boy. FML
Friday 27 March 2015