This member hasn't filled in the description.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, my 53 year-old art teacher told me she's excited about going clubbing this weekend. I'm excited about watching a special on the History Channel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21960) - you deserved it (4566)
Today, I was babysitting a three year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25642) - you deserved it (10717)
On 05/18/2011 at 6:57am - kids - by JCC (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I organised a romantic day trip for me and my boyfriend to some tropical gardens. I packed lunch and paid for the tickets. He decided to bring a friend, who doesn't speak English. The only thing that he said that I understood was that "Your girlfriend eats a lot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22020) - you deserved it (3096)
On 04/25/2011 at 5:20am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)
Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16113) - you deserved it (51314)
On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35814) - you deserved it (3249)
On 03/09/2011 at 5:27pm - love - by drebel (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33759) - you deserved it (3005)
On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33759) - you deserved it (3005)
On 03/07/2011 at 8:47am - kids - by fourfootnine (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend told me he was taking me out to eat to his favorite restaurant. He said I could order whatever I wanted and he'd pay for it. He took me to Red Lobster, knowing full well that I'm allergic to seafood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29145) - you deserved it (3304)
On 03/06/2011 at 10:00pm - love - by pinchy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I rode home alone on a train. I accidentally missed my stop, but wasn't worried about it. My mom did not share my optimism and actually called the train company, saying that I was "lost" and "special". They thought she meant I was retarded. They wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20217) - you deserved it (2150)
On 01/18/2011 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I took my daughter to the library instead of the pool. I sat her on the counter and, while I reached for my library card, she turned to the librarian and said "We didn't go to the pool today because Mum has hairy legs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18901) - you deserved it (9023)
On 01/04/2011 at 3:05am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I realised it takes me longer to take a dump than it does to have sex with my boyfriend. I also realised taking a dump is more satisfying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28867) - you deserved it (4571)
On 01/02/2011 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I gave my wife a $900 necklace as a special Christmas gift. She gave me a set of Star Wars pajamas. As it turns out, I was more excited to wear my gift than she was to wear hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21988) - you deserved it (4084)
On 12/25/2010 at 2:31am - love - by ima nerd - United States (Alabama)
Today, as I spent my last $6 on groceries, the woman at the register gave me a dirty look because I declined to donate $1 to a children's charity. My six year old son immediately chimed in with, "Mommy, why aren't you helping the poor children?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30257) - you deserved it (3896)
On 12/16/2010 at 12:49am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34344) - you deserved it (10981)
On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32873) - you deserved it (5737)
On 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm - misc - by gingerninja (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
