Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 16 March 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4418
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Jenmic's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 8:41pm<b>thehappycamper</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 12:00am<b>JulC</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 1:40pm<b>stephanyovalle</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 3:28am<b>killerpotato21</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 7:58pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 4:25pm<b>silverstream20</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 9:10pm<b>williamlittle</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 1:37pm<b>anonymousy37</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 1:33pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:22am<b>royceda510</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 9:09pm<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 6:18pm<b>thepersonyouknow</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 5:37pm<b>grunt2423</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 10:38pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:22pm<b>Reaper350</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 2:10pm<b>crunchycheeto99</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:55am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 3:50am

Fucked!<b>thepersonyouknow</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 11:38pm

Jenmic's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of Jenmic's badges

Jenmic's favorite FMLs

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59843) - you deserved it (9687)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML


I agree, your life sucks (62197) - you deserved it (24386)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47020) - you deserved it (5436)

On 04/21/2013 at 12:03pm - money - by a little less poor at least (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54200) - you deserved it (11521)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50287) - you deserved it (5885)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (11337) - you deserved it (48038) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/21/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by lolo - Israel (HaDarom)

Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17044) - you deserved it (48334)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML


I agree, your life sucks (39904) - you deserved it (2851)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32196) - you deserved it (6027)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20580) - you deserved it (8135)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20733) - you deserved it (7517)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29327) - you deserved it (7282)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26251) - you deserved it (2160)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36178) - you deserved it (9692)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I bought cupcakes from a bakery by my work. I took them home, at which point my mother screamed at me because she's on a diet. Hours later I found the whole box empty. Great self-control, mom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26401) - you deserved it (4461)

On 12/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by hdkgdkvdjd - United States (California)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: