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Today, I was choosing my soft drink at a restaurant. The kid in front of me was too short to reach the lids so I handed him one. His mom rushed over, pried it out of his hands, threw it away, and yelled, "She's filthy, don't use that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21421) - you deserved it (2309)
On 05/24/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by td1078 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19952) - you deserved it (911)
On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17476) - you deserved it (1304)
On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old daughter why she can't pull a duck face pose for her driver's license. She still doesn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23626) - you deserved it (3342)
On 02/03/2012 at 2:58am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I bought cupcakes from a bakery by my work. I took them home, at which point my mother screamed at me because she's on a diet. Hours later I found the whole box empty. Great self-control, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18187) - you deserved it (3153)
On 12/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by hdkgdkvdjd - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30599) - you deserved it (7017)
On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML
I agree, your life sucks (12801) - you deserved it (30233)
On 11/19/2011 at 6:42am - love - by kaybax - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7204) - you deserved it (25179)
On 08/25/2011 at 6:57pm - health - by ash - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12684) - you deserved it (13525)
On 08/15/2011 at 4:15am - misc - by Michelle - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7072) - you deserved it (24550)
Today, I went to my favorite all you can eat buffet. The cook tapped my shoulder and told me to stop eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21075) - you deserved it (12289)
On 08/08/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by Kathryn - United States (New York)
Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24450) - you deserved it (1619)
On 07/24/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42873) - you deserved it (6041)
On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mother went shopping. She bought three boxes of Popsicles and a giant stuffed dog. She did not buy dinner or toilet paper. I've eaten nothing but cereal and popcorn for three days now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27535) - you deserved it (4689)
On 05/27/2011 at 6:45am - animals - by FeedMe (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26510) - you deserved it (13923)
On 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm - kids - by Fatty1970 - United States (Florida)
Friday 24 May 2013
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