Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jenmic

Online | Search for a member

Jenmic

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 16 March 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3072
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Jenmic's page activity

Visits<b>grunt2423</b> - yesterday at 10:38pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 8:22pm<b>Reaper350</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 2:10pm<b>crunchycheeto99</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:55am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 3:50am<b>cman92</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 1:01am<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 2:05am<b>CyberGothic</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 4:18pm<b>Sjus</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 6:03am<b>kalikiller13</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 7:16am<b>bende</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 12:19am<b>Gremlinswife</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 12:37am<b>Ilovefutbol</b> - the 08/09/2012 at 2:54am<b>Cad6</b> - the 04/08/2012 at 8:49am<b>DysfunctionalK</b> - the 01/24/2012 at 12:31am<b>abylaunch</b> - the 01/12/2012 at 4:11am<b>ThecomingofTan</b> - the 01/05/2012 at 12:54am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:05pm

Jenmic's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Jenmic's badges

Jenmic's favorite FMLs

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

#21317624
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29472) - you deserved it (2234)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm - misc - by AsianSensation (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35574) - you deserved it (3733)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after ignoring my concerns and declaring that "safety equipment's for pussies", my husband went rock climbing for the first time. He only sprained his ankle, but is acting like it's broken. He's now playing video games in bed and pissing in a bucket because walking is "too painful". FML

#21234823
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39515) - you deserved it (4032)

On 08/11/2014 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47578) - you deserved it (28465)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML

#21057252
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39400) - you deserved it (23051)

On 02/11/2014 at 3:00pm - misc - by FUUUUCK (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he thought he heard another guy in the room when he called me, and that I'm cheating on him. The guy he heard was a character from a cartoon my sister was watching. FML

#20958917
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40204) - you deserved it (3094)

On 11/15/2013 at 5:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

#20908563
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42574) - you deserved it (7774)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, someone stole my card number and tried to use it. Every transaction got declined, not because the bank knew it was a fraudulent charge, but because I'm so poor that he couldn't make even a single purchase. FML

Today, my online order arrived earlier than I expected. I opened it to find some kind of anal sex toy. Whoever this is for is going to be disappointed when they get my 3DS game. FML

#20894309
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38346) - you deserved it (2625)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26773) - you deserved it (39211)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57296) - you deserved it (9329)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was trying sell a customer a top-of-the-line surround sound system. Apparently he was aware that I work on commission, as he threatened to buy the system elsewhere unless I sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" in front of the whole store. Goodbye, self-respect. FML

#20610052
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43766) - you deserved it (5122)

On 04/21/2013 at 12:03pm - money - by a little less poor at least (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46730) - you deserved it (5548)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I downloaded a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up and fetch it from the living room. I think I've hit rock bottom. FML

#20516729
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10080) - you deserved it (45053) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/21/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by lolo - Israel (HaDarom)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: