[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Jenmaree

Search for a member

Jenmaree
  • Town/Country : Newcastle, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 January 1983 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 797
  • Number of comments : 144
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Jenmaree's last visitors

bongsewermittyCloudEnvycanitbeitz_towelieYuppiehaSexyIslandGirlHolybatman

Jenmaree's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Jenmaree's badges

Jenmaree's favorite FMLs

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

#18556841 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (6171) - you deserved it (29647)

On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

#18553074 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (23219) - you deserved it (1631)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML

#13699174 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (23975) - you deserved it (3463)

On 11/03/2010 at 8:08am - work - by nurse (woman) - Reserved

Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML

#13485741 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (5861) - you deserved it (36114)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Nobody - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML

#13331304 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (10410) - you deserved it (20972)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:01pm - animals - by jabba (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318 (297)

I agree, your life sucks (34495) - you deserved it (7473)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011 (326)

I agree, your life sucks (40929) - you deserved it (2501)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254 (302)

I agree, your life sucks (26262) - you deserved it (2709)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. 15 Minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

#12601723 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (20587) - you deserved it (8838)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:01am - misc - by Herbiee (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML

#7460932 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (9337) - you deserved it (20612)

On 01/20/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by showerpower (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (8556) - you deserved it (19325)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML

#7296814 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (25945) - you deserved it (1578)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:10am - kids - by mickey1928 -

Today, I had to clean my house to hide the evidence of the party I threw last night. I attempted to clean the puke stain on my carpet while still drunk. I didn't realize until this morning that the All Purpose cleaner I used was actually All Purpose Adhesive. The evidence is now glued to my carpet. FML

#7263195 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (3449) - you deserved it (25469)

On 01/10/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Lady (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

#7154032 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (22765) - you deserved it (6359)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (23189) - you deserved it (5207)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)



Your account

Sign up - Password?
→ Illustrated FMLs
→ The blog
+ FML, the follow-up
↓ Categories

FML's blog

05/15/2012

The whole blog

Switch to FML for visually impaired

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2012 by