Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jenmaree

Search for a member

Jenmaree
  • Town/Country : Newcastle, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 January 1983 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 933
  • Number of comments : 145
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Jenmaree's last visitors

lexxiiibongsewermittyCloudEnvycanitbeitz_toweliehaSexyIslandGirl

Jenmaree's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Jenmaree's badges

Jenmaree's favorite FMLs

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

#18556841
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6875) - you deserved it (32696)

On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

#18553074
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24854) - you deserved it (1739)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML

#13699174
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25169) - you deserved it (3626)

On 11/03/2010 at 8:08am - work - by nurse (woman) - Reserved

Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML

#13485741
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6475) - you deserved it (45135)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Nobody - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML

#13331304
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11028) - you deserved it (21805)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:01pm - animals - by jabba (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36325) - you deserved it (7753)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36325) - you deserved it (7753)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42491) - you deserved it (2623)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42491) - you deserved it (2623)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42491) - you deserved it (2623)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27645) - you deserved it (2871)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. 15 Minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

#12601723
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21611) - you deserved it (9095)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:01am - misc - by Herbiee (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML

#7460932
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10194) - you deserved it (22195)

On 01/20/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by showerpower (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9210) - you deserved it (20497)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML

#7296814
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27620) - you deserved it (1694)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:10am - kids - by mickey1928 -



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: