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Jenmaree

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Jenmaree
  • Town/Country : Newcastle, Australia
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 January 1983 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 1062
  • Number of comments : 145
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Jenmaree's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Jenmaree's favorite FMLs

Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML

#18556841
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7691) - you deserved it (40990)

On 12/19/2011 at 9:29pm - intimacy - by Colton (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

#18553074
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28654) - you deserved it (2254)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML

#13699174
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29162) - you deserved it (4417)

On 11/03/2010 at 8:08am - work - by nurse (woman) - Reserved

Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML

#13485741
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7745) - you deserved it (50078)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Nobody - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML

#13331304
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13401) - you deserved it (29233)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:01pm - animals - by jabba (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42388) - you deserved it (9534)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42388) - you deserved it (9534)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47439) - you deserved it (3270)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47439) - you deserved it (3270)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
312 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47439) - you deserved it (3270)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30137) - you deserved it (3527)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. 15 Minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

#12601723
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22165) - you deserved it (9154)

On 08/18/2010 at 8:01am - misc - by Herbiee (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML

#7460932
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11753) - you deserved it (27701)

On 01/20/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by showerpower (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9995) - you deserved it (25194)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took my wife and newborn baby girl home from the hospital. While waiting for the elevator, an elderly couple leaned over, saw our baby, and said, "Look, it's the fat kid that was in the nursery." My baby is six and a half pounds, and my wife hasn't stopped crying. FML

#7296814
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31323) - you deserved it (2125)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:10am - kids - by mickey1928 -



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