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Jea2096's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2013 at 3:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 11:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 2:09am / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by Doggotmytongue / 02/12/2013 at 4:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by What a happy day / 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
by Z / 11/26/2012 at 5:26am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by poorkids / 10/31/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, my clumsiness has reached such legendary proportions in my family, that when I visited my grandparents, I found they'd put stickers all over their glass doors, so I wouldn't have "yet another painful accident". FML
by fuck yuo / 09/01/2012 at 4:50pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was watching a movie alone, after receiving a text from my boyfriend saying that his grandma was at the hospital, so he couldn't go with me. I caught him on a date with another girl, at the same movie screening that I went to. FML
by singlesummer / 06/25/2012 at 4:32am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2012 at 10:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
by DwarfFrog / 06/18/2012 at 7:38am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation
Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML
by aranya / 06/14/2012 at 6:51pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Intimacy
by bad date / 06/13/2012 at 12:42am / United States (Nebraska) / Money
by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous