About JazzyByProxy : "That that starts sweet ends bitter, and that which starts bitter ends sweet."
JazzyByProxy's FML badges
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
JazzyByProxy's favorite FMLs
by harrypottermuch / 11/26/2009 at 6:50am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by ginny / 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
Today, I was driving and saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window to whistle at them. However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light. I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing their asses off, and now I have to pay for the damage. FML
by embarrassed / 07/21/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
Today, during some previews before the new Harry Potter movie, a guy stood up and led the audience in an enthusiastic and rather successful chant "H-A-R-R-Y!". Minutes later when I attempted to do the same thing, I was pelted with half-full bags of popcorn, freezing sodas, and booing. FML
by Chelsea / 07/20/2009 at 1:54am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I logged onto facebook, and saw that one of my friends had just listed herself as in a relationship. I was happy for her, so I clicked the "like" button. Then I went to her page to see who her new boyfriend was. It was my boyfriend. FML
by dumped / 07/01/2009 at 1:25pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was delivering pizzas for my summer job. I got a big order to deliver for a fellow graduate's party. While I was being paid for the order my friend shows up and says "Don't pay him, his parents are rich, he can handle it." Then they shut the door and took off. The bill was $75. FML
by blahpizzablah / 06/21/2009 at 8:37pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, I facebooked my friends about my upcoming birthday party, and told them to keep the date free. I got several responses telling me that's not possible, because that's the day the new Harry Potter movie comes out. FML
by Anonymous / 06/16/2009 at 7:10am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on MSN with my friend and my 9 year old brother. My friend asked me for some advice about how to give a guy a good blowjob. I went into great detail, and then realised that I had typed it to the wrong window. I gave my little brother tips on how to perform fellatio. FML
by imsorrytimmy / 04/02/2009 at 11:34am / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Intimacy
Today, I sent out a note to 300 friends saying that I'm having a birthday party in a couple weeks. I asked to please write back if they are interested in going . . . two people answered...They said they can't make it. FML
by mylifeisfcked / 02/24/2009 at 8:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by starbird / 02/23/2009 at 2:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother-in-law. FML
by Tinker-Bell / 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…