JazzyByProxy

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Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 8:46am)

JazzyByProxy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 October 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1024
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About JazzyByProxy : "That that starts sweet ends bitter, and that which starts bitter ends sweet."

JazzyByProxy's page activity

Visits<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 10:13am<b>JulianaBlackburn</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 2:26am<b>zeppelinzoso</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 2:04pm<b>StarThrower</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 5:21pm<b>Laxchick77</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 11:32pm<b>miwako</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 9:09am<b>perdix</b> - the 08/20/2012 at 4:14am

JazzyByProxy's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of JazzyByProxy's badges

JazzyByProxy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

by rolyat / 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

by poo4brains / 04/28/2012 at 12:42am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

by intheairtonight / 04/25/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

by mmmtortilla / 04/24/2012 at 10:03am / Spain (Pais Vasco) / Intimacy

Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML

by jaderie / 04/21/2012 at 5:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

by joolsie / 04/13/2012 at 9:11am / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML

by Munkeh / 04/12/2012 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

by anonomous / 04/07/2012 at 11:27am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

by displeased / 04/05/2012 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML

by Lionman / 04/05/2012 at 1:11am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML

by JC / 03/26/2012 at 4:56pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML

by tellingthetruth / 03/21/2012 at 12:25pm / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Intimacy

Today, my new boyfriend asked why it takes me so long to reach orgasm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's never even given me one. FML

by Jen / 03/20/2012 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I wondered if my orgasms are worth the bother, seeing as I get horrible "I feel like I'm dying" cramps every time I climax. FML

by imawesome / 03/01/2012 at 10:54pm / United States / Intimacy