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JazzyByProxy

Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 8:46am) | Search for a member

JazzyByProxy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 October 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 581
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About JazzyByProxy : "That that starts sweet ends bitter, and that which starts bitter ends sweet."

JazzyByProxy's page activity

Visits<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 10:13am<b>JulianaBlackburn</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 2:26am<b>zeppelinzoso</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 2:04pm<b>StarThrower</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 5:21pm<b>Laxchick77</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 11:32pm<b>miwako</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 9:09am<b>perdix</b> - the 08/20/2012 at 4:14am

JazzyByProxy's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of JazzyByProxy's badges

JazzyByProxy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

#19558140
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30494) - you deserved it (3400)

On 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by rolyat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife woke me up by giving my erect penis a Chinese burn. FML

#19540366
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27263) - you deserved it (3081)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by poo4brains - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

#19525973
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23562) - you deserved it (2668)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

#19521311
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9606) - you deserved it (23987)

On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)

Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML

#19505040
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21855) - you deserved it (4178)

On 04/21/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by jaderie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

#19460491
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10286) - you deserved it (27106)

On 04/13/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML

#19456455
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34406) - you deserved it (3503)

On 04/12/2012 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Munkeh (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

#19423040
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13765) - you deserved it (40493)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:27am - intimacy - by anonomous - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36416) - you deserved it (3001)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML

#19410282
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22777) - you deserved it (2266)

On 04/05/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Lionman (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML

#19397932
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30485) - you deserved it (3297)

On 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML

#19352166
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21972) - you deserved it (5279)

On 03/26/2012 at 4:56pm - intimacy - by JC (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML

#19320127
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25300) - you deserved it (12621)

On 03/21/2012 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by tellingthetruth (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, my new boyfriend asked why it takes me so long to reach orgasm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's never even given me one. FML

#19311891
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29038) - you deserved it (6295)

On 03/20/2012 at 1:11am - intimacy - by Jen (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wondered if my orgasms are worth the bother, seeing as I get horrible "I feel like I'm dying" cramps every time I climax. FML

#19199662
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28102) - you deserved it (2506)

On 03/01/2012 at 10:54pm - intimacy - by imawesome - United States



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