JazzyByProxy

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Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 8:46am)

JazzyByProxy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 13 October 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 988
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About JazzyByProxy : "That that starts sweet ends bitter, and that which starts bitter ends sweet."

JazzyByProxy's page activity

Visits<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 10:13am<b>JulianaBlackburn</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 2:26am<b>zeppelinzoso</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 2:04pm<b>StarThrower</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 5:21pm<b>Laxchick77</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 11:32pm<b>miwako</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 9:09am<b>perdix</b> - the 08/20/2012 at 4:14am

JazzyByProxy's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of JazzyByProxy's badges

JazzyByProxy's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 7:39am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found myself actively concerned about what the characters from "Will and Grace" have been doing since the show went off the air. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 6:50am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

by bellabreeze / 08/08/2012 at 11:29pm / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML

by Dumbfounded / 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I found out my sister-in-law is getting married. She is one of my best friends, and was my maid of honor when I got married. She's asked me to serve punch at hers. FML

by alaskaintexas / 07/19/2012 at 3:29am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2012 at 7:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Health

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

by Rosie / 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy

Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML

by JohnBlack / 06/11/2012 at 11:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm / Spain (Castilla y Leon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

by polimeros / 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm / Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm. FML

by laury / 05/08/2012 at 10:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

by quirrus / 05/07/2012 at 5:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

by CALIdime_15 / 05/05/2012 at 1:42am / United States / Intimacy