Jazz_916

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Offline (the 11/23/2014 at 11:23pm)

Jazz_916

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 668
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Jazz_916 : My life mostly consistes of video games, graphic designing, tennis, and cars. What else do you need to know?

Jazz_916's page activity

Visits<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 11:10pm<b>Draysor</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 3:15am<b>carsonator45</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 7:57am<b>uz101</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:32am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 4:19pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 5:11pm<b>iT_Cereal</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 4:26am<b>BloodlustOreO</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:03am<b>Beedrus</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 3:05pm<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 2:28pm<b>bklswagger</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 4:56pm<b>Camilio</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 11:16am<b>jaymecarterr</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 7:23pm<b>RandomnGuyZ</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 5:53pm<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:43pm<b>nhaba1214</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:11am<b>flamingarrow59</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:43am<b>broncosfan1996</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:58am

Fucked!<b>RandomnGuyZ</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 11:54pm<b>caaguilar</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 2:43am

Jazz_916's FML badges

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Jazz_916's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

by OnPlanetVenus / 07/04/2013 at 12:41am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

by Are you f*cking kidding me / 06/12/2013 at 2:10am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

by harrington61 / 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

by gir / 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

by Ben / 06/18/2011 at 11:34am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

by Katrina / 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML

by Lisaaa / 10/27/2010 at 7:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was late for a medical school seminar and test. An SUV flipped over on the highway right in front of me. I held pressure to gushing, lacerated artery until EMS arrived. He lived, but I might have to repeat the whole year because I missed a big test. The test? Emergency response medicine. FML

by doctorchick / 08/11/2009 at 8:58pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, our entire crew team was at a yoga studio for an introductory yoga lesson. All my teammates could talk about how hot the yoga instructor was in her tight spandex while doing the sexy yoga poses. Everyone, including the coach, wanted to do her. The yoga instructor is my mom. FML

by unitywoods / 03/27/2009 at 2:43pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy