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JazzVibes's FML badges
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JazzVibes's favorite FMLs
Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
by rebekah / 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
by loser / 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I stumbled upon a slightly drunk neighbor, trying to type in the entry code with his penis.… Today, a young woman on the subway asked me to hold her pocket mirror open in front of her. I asked… Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me…