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JazzVibes

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JazzVibes

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 188
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JazzVibes's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

#18579511
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29768) - you deserved it (7631)

On 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by Cookie (woman) - South Africa

Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML

#18563355
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30142) - you deserved it (4930)

On 12/20/2011 at 5:41pm - love - by tommy - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

#18551023
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33034) - you deserved it (6427)

On 12/19/2011 at 2:55am - intimacy - by mo (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. I fainted due to the excitement. He took it as a "no" and won't pick up my calls. FML

#18547222
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33481) - you deserved it (3877)

On 12/18/2011 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

#18508427
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51307) - you deserved it (3068)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

#18506828
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41255) - you deserved it (3055)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)

Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML

#18474670
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45393) - you deserved it (12000)

On 12/10/2011 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Anonymousss95 - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42118) - you deserved it (5130)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

#18358033
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66447) - you deserved it (3220)

On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32844) - you deserved it (3120)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I received a fine for leaving my car at the airport. Each day it's been there, they added an additional $50. My car was stolen two weeks ago. FML

#18281505
86 comments

Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML

#18030878
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31365) - you deserved it (5970)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Meath)

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41658) - you deserved it (8478)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18285) - you deserved it (37017)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (417867) - you deserved it (59583)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)



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