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JazzVibes's favorite FMLs
Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML
by Cookie / 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm / South Africa / Miscellaneous
Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML
by tommy / 12/20/2011 at 5:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by mo / 12/19/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/18/2011 at 7:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by newlysingle / 12/14/2011 at 12:15am / United States / Love
Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML
by neednewdeoderant / 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymousss95 / 12/10/2011 at 7:03am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
by Aly / 12/09/2011 at 10:40am / United States / Intimacy
by notsohappilyeverafter / 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (California) / Love
by religionbites621 / 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
by Hunterisawesome / 11/18/2011 at 2:24pm / Reserved / Transportation
Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML
by Anonymous / 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm / Ireland (Meath) / Miscellaneous
by imy / 10/18/2011 at 11:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
- Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone… Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something… Today, my fiancé had to perform his first prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it,…