About Jayrs93 : Hello my next creeper, here's my life... Video games and sports... And if there is any kind of apocalypse I hope it is a zombie one so I can kill some zombies... Sniper, pistol mix, with a machete I think so... I'm never on FML on the computer so if u message me i will probably not answer (and by probably I mean it's highly unlikely)... Have an nice life :)
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Jayrs93's favorite FMLs
Today, it's been a week since I found an egg in the street that had seemingly fallen out of a nest. I'd bought a cage and an expensive incubator lamp to save it. It's thus been a week that I've been trying to save a mouldy old potato. FML
by mac cayne / 05/01/2014 at 11:13pm / France (Alsace) / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched my daughter squealing with delight in front of a video game. Beating a boss? Slaying an adversary? Completing a quest? Not at all. She was chasing birds, making them fly away, then starting all over again as soon as they landed. She's 19. FML
by melimelo24 / 03/13/2014 at 5:33am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids
by thejanamonster / 12/30/2013 at 2:48pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, I tried to prove to my girlfriend how much I've matured and that our relationship comes before anything else in my life. So I went to delete my character in World of Warcraft. I tried to confirm it, but I couldn't, breaking down in tears instead. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 12:20pm / United States / Love
Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 7:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by honeybunny90 / 12/28/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm / Israel / Kids
by Sherry / 07/11/2012 at 9:29am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2012 at 4:30pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was playing an online game in nothing but my boxers, when suddenly a girl joined my team. I immediately felt embarrassed and put some pants on. There were no webcams involved. I need to get out more. FML
by furred / 06/01/2012 at 12:48am / Philippines / Geek
by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 3:22am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I drove my girlfriend to take her on the first date out of the house we've had since she got… Today, I spent the day at the ER with my fiancé. He'll be fine and is home resting. When I called… Today while hanging out with my boyfriend and two of our guy friends I realized I was what you call…
- Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to…