About Jaxro : Jaxro will save us all.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, I woke up lying on the ground outside with a horrible headache. I camped out in my tree house last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17715) - you deserved it (7174)
On 12/11/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by B-Man (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66952) - you deserved it (13945)
On 07/08/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by onething (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML
I agree, your life sucks (94825) - you deserved it (4893)
On 04/18/2009 at 3:20am - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35662) - you deserved it (12134)
On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML
I agree, your life sucks (75751) - you deserved it (6600)
On 04/14/2009 at 4:51am - kids - by poolboy (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months asked me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finished explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline and I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60715) - you deserved it (9152)
On 04/12/2009 at 3:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71739) - you deserved it (3911)
On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49309) - you deserved it (6951)
On 04/11/2009 at 12:13pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I saw a dime on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up, my $80 dollar pants ripped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27166) - you deserved it (46648)
On 04/11/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by ripped (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (215160) - you deserved it (26923)
On 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went out to eat with some friends. They picked a table that wasn't big enough for all of us. I had to sit in the booth behind them. Alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60120) - you deserved it (3164)
On 04/10/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by yum. - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31125) - you deserved it (100327)
On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had bought and left at her house. There were 8 left and I wasn't the one who opened them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80123) - you deserved it (4582)
On 04/05/2009 at 1:04am - intimacy - by knicksfan (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199485) - you deserved it (58864)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82545) - you deserved it (7030)
On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
