Jasper

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Jasper

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 257787
  • Number of comments : 203
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Jasper : i love girls. i love boys.

Jasper's page activity

Visits<b>DrafteeSelf</b> - 3 hours ago<b>JazzlaWazz</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 1:38pm<b>Redditfantic</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 7:48pm<b>thatweirdasian</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 9:56pm<b>draftskink</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 11:13pm<b>OB1Kenobi</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 3:41am<b>OnlyKayleah</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 3:05pm<b>logank013</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:00pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 7:59am<b>hullarms</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 12:18pm<b>jill97</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 3:05am<b>SirPringles</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 4:46pm<b>keyface5</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 9:44am<b>twarn15</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 7:37am<b>samrompain</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 10:08pm<b>david66</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 4:15pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 12:11am<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 4:28pm

Fucked!<b>thatweirdasian</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 3:56am<b>logank013</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 8:00pm<b>Angel1999</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 12:55am

Jasper's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Jasper's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother called me and told me that she went to the hospital. This wasn't a surprise 'cos she normally goes to the hospital for the smallest things. So, I was a smart ass and asked, "What now? You finally have lung cancer from all those cigarettes?" Apparently, she does. FML

by cannabis_this420 / 03/16/2009 at 9:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML

by paymeinhugs / 03/16/2009 at 9:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

by ihatevideos / 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML

by badgrandchild / 03/16/2009 at 5:01pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML

by badbirthday / 03/16/2009 at 4:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play. FML

by gfg / 03/16/2009 at 2:48pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, I found an old dress in my house laying around. I decided to dye it green to wear it out on St. Patrick's day. Turns out it was my grandmother's wedding dress that my sister was planning to wear for her wedding. FML

by Noname / 03/16/2009 at 1:29pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Geek

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML

by Jon / 03/14/2009 at 2:30am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 1:08am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the check out line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was okay. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML

by choker / 03/14/2009 at 12:13am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML

by tomtomcutiepoof / 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

by mugs / 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

by sucks / 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm / United States / Intimacy