About Jasper : i love girls. i love boys.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got a phone call saying I was no longer a bridesmaid for a wedding in June. It's my mom's 4th wedding. I'm getting replaced by our dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (160376) - you deserved it (10879)
On 03/16/2009 at 10:41pm - animals - by Noname - United States (California)
Today, my mother called me and told me that she went to the hospital. This wasn't a surprise 'cos she normally goes to the hospital for the smallest things. So, I was a smart ass and asked, "What now? You finally have lung cancer from all those cigarettes?" Apparently, she does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17509) - you deserved it (74102)
On 03/16/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by cannabis_this420 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71470) - you deserved it (4340)
On 03/16/2009 at 9:04pm - misc - by paymeinhugs - United States (New York)
Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (143383) - you deserved it (25694)
On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33774) - you deserved it (68821)
On 03/16/2009 at 5:01pm - misc - by badgrandchild - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (94366) - you deserved it (32352)
On 03/16/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by badbirthday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play. FML
I agree, your life sucks (131510) - you deserved it (18238)
On 03/16/2009 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by gfg (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)
Today, I found an old dress in my house laying around. I decided to dye it green to wear it out on St. Patrick's day. Turns out it was my grandmother's wedding dress that my sister was planning to wear for her wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27880) - you deserved it (119731)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (526032) - you deserved it (318980)
On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26545) - you deserved it (64131)
On 03/14/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)
Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71394) - you deserved it (4423)
On 03/14/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (112626) - you deserved it (8484)
On 03/14/2009 at 1:08am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to Walmart with my mom. At the check out line I was eating a bag of chips as my mom bought her stuff. I inhaled while eating and I started to choke. The cashier asked me if I was okay. My mom just waved her hand, and said, "Sometimes she does that for attention, ignore her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (74423) - you deserved it (5639)
On 03/14/2009 at 12:13am - health - by choker (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57093) - you deserved it (5628)
On 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by tomtomcutiepoof (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while, and my dad said, "honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56091) - you deserved it (17175)
On 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm - health - by mugs (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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