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Jasper

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Jasper
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 249910
  • Number of comments : 203
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Jasper : i love girls. i love boys.

Jasper's last visitors

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Jasper's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Jasper's favorite FMLs

Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

#522932
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69638) - you deserved it (22623)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by joshinbaltimore (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my parents and I were looking through old photos. My dad comments, "Wow you were chubby back then. But that's ok, it was baby fat." Then he turns to me and asks, "What's your excuse now?" FML

#521757
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49759) - you deserved it (9834)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML

#520285
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86986) - you deserved it (31872)

On 03/21/2009 at 10:38pm - love - by clementine_k (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was with a group of friends at a bar, and we were all talking about whether we were moaners, screamers, or quiet during sex. My boyfriend said that he was a moaner, which I contradicted. Completely straightfaced, he said, "Well, I am when it's good." FML

#518430
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65212) - you deserved it (21587)

On 03/21/2009 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by AGluckily (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

#507959
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (195533) - you deserved it (18854)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came out to my mom. I had an epic speech planned, and when I tried to tell her, it all fell apart and I started crying and just said, "I'm gay." After a few seconds silence, my mom sighs and says, "Duh." FML

#506180
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55776) - you deserved it (15497)

On 03/21/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by teriyaki124 - United States (California)

Today, my parents saw my report card. Now, they refuse to buy me my the new computer I've always wanted because my grades had 'slipped'. I made honor roll for three terms, and was kept off for the fourth for a single bad grade. I failed gym. FML

#504973
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56651) - you deserved it (36782)

On 03/21/2009 at 2:22am - work - by MollyMo - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

#504108
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132452) - you deserved it (4960)

On 03/21/2009 at 1:33am - intimacy - by willywonks (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to confession. I told the priest that I had an intimate relationship with a woman that I'm not married to. He chuckled and said, "You know, lying is a sin too." I wasn't lying. FML

#480459
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59835) - you deserved it (8179)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:34pm - misc - by churchgoer (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my parents said that they bought me a car. I had been begging for one for a year and they always said that I would have to pay for it myself. I got really excited and went to the garage to see my new ride. It was a Hot Wheels car with a note saying "save your money". FML

#412946
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59694) - you deserved it (27130)

On 03/17/2009 at 2:17pm - money - by RdL (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to introduce my girlfriend to my parents by telling them that we were gonna have a very special guest for dinner. While my mom was preparing the meal she asked, "What does he like?" I'm straight. My parents thought different. FML

#407714
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77249) - you deserved it (6360)

On 03/17/2009 at 3:25am - love - by isaacBENNETT (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131509) - you deserved it (35678)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML

#402387
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (170171) - you deserved it (8209)

On 03/16/2009 at 11:17pm - work - by Dansonn (man) - United States (California)



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