Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jasper

Search for a member

Jasper

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 250906
  • Number of comments : 203
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Jasper : i love girls. i love boys.

Jasper's page activity

Visits<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 8:09am<b>sacrifcedsoul</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:29am<b>masyn_rae</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 4:22pm<b>dc176</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 7:48pm<b>yesmynameis</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:35am<b>aeore</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 1:49pm<b>NotSoCool15</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 3:49pm<b>The_Lazarus</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 7:34am<b>tzemmy</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 5:46pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 3:35pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 6:25pm<b>Duskitty</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 3:55pm<b>socoldmusic13</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 12:36pm<b>bernie81000</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 3:08am<b>Dubst3Predat0r</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 3:55pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 11:26pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 9:48am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:23pm

Jasper's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Jasper's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my dog, who had been missing for over a month, at the local pound. Clearly it was my dog, she responded to her name and cried when she saw me. However, the woman there told me I could not simply take her, I had to follow through with all policies. I paid $250 to adopt my own dog. FML

#927038
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64118) - you deserved it (8991)

On 04/12/2009 at 1:55pm - animals - by anbrown6 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it was easter and I thought it might be fun to look for eggs with my little brother. My parents told me to take the ones in the higher places that my brother couldn't reach. All of his eggs were filled with candy or money. Each one of mine had a note saying 'maybe when you lose weight'. FML

#925174
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67521) - you deserved it (8678)

On 04/12/2009 at 11:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

#924153
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (127040) - you deserved it (6462)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I parked my car on the street to go to the gym. When i came back my car was blocked by a parade of people. I turned to a shop worker smoking a cigarette and said "Jesus! What the hell is going on?" I got many strange looks. It was a Good Friday parade lead by a local church. FML

#920023
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14465) - you deserved it (42900)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my ex boyfriend I lost 20 lbs because of the stress of the break up. His response was "you're welcome." FML

#889567
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49382) - you deserved it (25070)

On 04/09/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by blutownie13 - United States

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64908) - you deserved it (10827)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got all my co-workers motivated. We were all going to quit and walk out the door. I went first. I gave an emotional speech to my boss and threw my uniform to the ground. Then I turned around to to see the rest follow, they all began laughing. They didn't. They WANTED me to quit. FML

#877150
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49052) - you deserved it (32525)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:34pm - work - by ineedanewjob (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

#867771
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67135) - you deserved it (4718)

On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML

#864226
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61897) - you deserved it (5631)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:03am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw the blueprints for my family's new house. My room is half the size of the room next to it. The room next to it is my step mom's walk-in closet. FML

#849768
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (166400) - you deserved it (9171)

On 04/07/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Powerfool (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML

#843077
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80353) - you deserved it (3195)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by omgn00blolz89 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
678 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32977) - you deserved it (473618)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men." he said "Oh ya, me too! I really like buff guys also." FML

#831202
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63721) - you deserved it (11757)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:40am - love - by vela9002 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow, and when the daughter saw it, she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looks at my nametag, then me, then turns to her daughter and says "Because he hates God honey". FML

#827000
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64925) - you deserved it (4516)

On 04/05/2009 at 11:14pm - work - by maconda99 (man) - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely something…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: