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Jasper

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Jasper
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 249960
  • Number of comments : 203
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Jasper : i love girls. i love boys.

Jasper's last visitors

aa1717thisguy184FlamceriusnummybunnyNandaPandaMalloryEmandafagerFedergirlMomentoMori

Jasper's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Jasper's favorite FMLs

Today, was my 16th birthday and I was supposed to be surprised with a new car. I have overheard my parents talking about bringing it home tonight while I was at a friend's house. We snuck back to my house to see them bring my car home. All I saw was my Dad crash my new car into a street lamp. FML

#1334002
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49088) - you deserved it (12041)

On 04/25/2009 at 8:44pm - misc - by crashednowcrushed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a going-away party because I am leaving the country forever. Out of the 130 people invited, 60 were a resounding "Yes! of course I will go!". After paying $300 for everything needed at the party, 2 ended up coming. And left because nobody else was there. FML

#1332259
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80251) - you deserved it (4855)

On 04/25/2009 at 7:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Parana)

Today, at a concert, I noticed a cute keytarist in one of the bands. After they got off stage, I asked their bass player if she was single. He replied, "actually, she's married," holding up his left hand, he continued, "to me." FML

#1215114
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20531) - you deserved it (40873)

On 04/22/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by fastfingers409 - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

#1214508
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69836) - you deserved it (3964)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by RockedSystem - United States (Alabama)

Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML

#1154114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60759) - you deserved it (16870)

On 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

#1131048
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63691) - you deserved it (6619)

On 04/19/2009 at 8:17pm - animals - by yuckspider (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, is my 21st birthday. I get home after my night out and walk into the garage to see a 2002 Red Corvette convertible. I run up to the car thinking its a gift and there's a note: "Dani this is not your birthday present. Quit drooling on my car. -Dad" Thanks Dad. FML

#1124896
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49192) - you deserved it (11286)

On 04/19/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by scarletdurose88 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (449625) - you deserved it (25563)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML

#1068348
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138878) - you deserved it (6682)

On 04/17/2009 at 9:19pm - intimacy - by gringa_Peru (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile. When I called my boyfriend of 2 years (whom I was hoping to have a future with) to talk to him about it, all he said was "So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore?" FML

#1056544
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54196) - you deserved it (6227)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

#1002619
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76006) - you deserved it (6145)

On 04/15/2009 at 8:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months asked me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finished explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline and I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML

#929724
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66191) - you deserved it (11181)

On 04/12/2009 at 3:46pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML

#927368
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80163) - you deserved it (5014)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

#927361
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92251) - you deserved it (4272)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by spiderhater (man) - United States (Virginia)



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