Jasper

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Jasper

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 257198
  • Number of comments : 203
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Jasper : i love girls. i love boys.

Jasper's page activity

Visits<b>OB1Kenobi</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 3:41am<b>OnlyKayleah</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 3:05pm<b>logank013</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:00pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 7:59am<b>hullarms</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 12:18pm<b>jill97</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 3:05am<b>SirPringles</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 4:46pm<b>keyface5</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 9:44am<b>twarn15</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 7:37am<b>samrompain</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 10:08pm<b>david66</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 4:15pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 12:11am<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 8:54pm<b>mattmillabruh</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 12:32am<b>TinyTinkerer</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 8:11pm<b>codkingmaster1</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 6:04pm<b>Paulcs</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 8:29am

Fucked!<b>logank013</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 8:00pm<b>Angel1999</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 12:55am

Jasper's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Jasper's favorite FMLs

Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2009 at 10:03pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my 16th birthday and I was supposed to be surprised with a new car. I have overheard my parents talking about bringing it home tonight while I was at a friend's house. We snuck back to my house to see them bring my car home. All I saw was my Dad crash my new car into a street lamp. FML

by crashednowcrushed / 04/25/2009 at 8:44pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I had a going-away party because I am leaving the country forever. Out of the 130 people invited, 60 were a resounding "Yes! of course I will go!". After paying $300 for everything needed at the party, 2 ended up coming. And left because nobody else was there. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2009 at 7:50pm / Brazil (Parana) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a concert, I noticed a cute keytarist in one of the bands. After they got off stage, I asked their bass player if she was single. He replied, "actually, she's married," holding up his left hand, he continued, "to me." FML

by fastfingers409 / 04/22/2009 at 2:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

by RockedSystem / 04/22/2009 at 1:39am / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

by yuckspider / 04/19/2009 at 8:17pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, is my 21st birthday. I get home after my night out and walk into the garage to see a 2002 Red Corvette convertible. I run up to the car thinking its a gift and there's a note: "Dani this is not your birthday present. Quit drooling on my car. -Dad" Thanks Dad. FML

by scarletdurose88 / 04/19/2009 at 5:47pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML

by gringa_Peru / 04/17/2009 at 9:19pm / Peru (Lima) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctor and found out that I am infertile. When I called my boyfriend of 2 years (whom I was hoping to have a future with) to talk to him about it, all he said was "So does this mean I don't have to wear a condom anymore?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Delaware) / Love

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2009 at 8:13pm / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months asked me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finished explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline and I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm / United States (California) / Geek