About Jasper : i love girls. i love boys.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was watching tv on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because "the dog can't see the TV." FML
I agree, your life sucks (66034) - you deserved it (3548)
On 05/24/2009 at 2:05pm - animals - by holly (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44073) - you deserved it (14015)
On 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by untitledentity (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13287) - you deserved it (104521)
On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)
Today, while cleaning out a closet with my mother, I found a wish list from when I was five. On that list, I wished my parents would divorce. Not only did that seriously hurt my mom, but now she thinks I'm the devil because my wish came true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37762) - you deserved it (8981)
On 05/21/2009 at 10:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I brought some cupcakes to my class for my birthday, like all the cool kids do. When it came time to sing happy birthday, the entire class said "happy birthday to" then forgot my name. Except my teacher. She said Steve. My name's Jeff. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61587) - you deserved it (5520)
On 05/21/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by theman (man) - Sent from mobile version
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75278) - you deserved it (35503)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was looking over some old notes from high school when I came across a list of things I wanted to accomplish by the time I'm 25. I haven't accomplished a single one. I'm 26. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34995) - you deserved it (13162)
On 05/21/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother calls them "sinners" and that they will "burn in hell twice". Then she says "God doesn't like gays". I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81677) - you deserved it (11270)
On 05/07/2009 at 9:39pm - love - by HidenSeek (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48386) - you deserved it (3219)
On 05/07/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by PetitPrincePerdu (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106342) - you deserved it (5372)
On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML
I agree, your life sucks (19081) - you deserved it (74783)
On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50542) - you deserved it (2801)
On 05/03/2009 at 12:16am - kids - by itswhateverr (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my grandpa told me he can still get aroused even though he is 84. Im 32 and have erectile dysfunction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51874) - you deserved it (2735)
On 05/02/2009 at 11:47pm - misc - by fuckerman - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my house got broken into. My brand new laptop was stolen, along with my flatscreen TV, digital camera, external hard drive and some clothes. Wanting to drown my sorrows in the Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream in the freezer, I opened the door to find that it too had been stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (153976) - you deserved it (8636)
On 04/28/2009 at 6:13pm - money - by Sad (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11855) - you deserved it (39152)
On 04/25/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Monday 20 May 2013
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