Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jasper

Search for a member

Jasper

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 254069
  • Number of comments : 203
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Jasper : i love girls. i love boys.

Jasper's page activity

Visits<b>delude</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 10:09pm<b>Maplekat</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 4:30pm<b>satanictoaster</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 2:20pm<b>camillaengeseth</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 7:36pm<b>FoopaShoopa</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 1:49am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 4:30am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 9:05pm<b>isvjusudcrsv</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 9:24pm<b>Ohshitdude</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 11:18pm<b>btob143</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 5:32pm<b>Nichao</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 12:33am<b>cordiallyinvited</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 1:38pm<b>Jewel_Faith</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:33pm<b>Texasblackboots</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 3:42pm<b>anitak912</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 12:00am<b>michouchoubou</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 10:56am<b>heleana</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Saywat145</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 8:59pm

Jasper's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Jasper's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80602) - you deserved it (22665)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom's will was read to the rest of the family. I helped my mom write it a couple years ago, and I was to get funds to pay off school loans. She revised it and put in a note saying I was to get nothing because I was "lazy." The executor read it out loud. FML

#2796619
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103201) - you deserved it (10396)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:51am - money - by TSampson (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to confess my feelings to the girl I've had a crush on since the beginning of high school. We agreed to meet at Starbucks, but she was bringing a friend. I didn't care, because I just wanted to tell her how I felt. When I got there, I saw her making out with another girl. FML

#2785854
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56154) - you deserved it (4697)

On 06/10/2009 at 9:43pm - love - by Ryuga (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML

#2609418
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40330) - you deserved it (4037)

On 06/04/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by fmlprobot (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML

#2602287
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66014) - you deserved it (9319)

On 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was cleaning my father's study room and wondering why I did not receive my acceptance/rejection letter from a college I really wanted. I found the acceptance letter, on his desk, also approving of a full scholarship. The deadline to confirm was a month ago. FML

#2545642
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (188839) - you deserved it (9087)

On 06/02/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by guamfml - Guam

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84728) - you deserved it (226124)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a F*ing idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML

#2525749
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47291) - you deserved it (21429)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:42am - misc - by holliefall (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37149) - you deserved it (62474)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML

#2501660
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60230) - you deserved it (3548)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by biker2012 (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I felt left out that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay... he started hitting on my made up facebook guy. FML

#2330424
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59384) - you deserved it (19427)

On 05/27/2009 at 12:06am - love - by sounfair90 (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML

#2328337
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8000) - you deserved it (81798)

On 05/26/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by Ash (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML

#2271321
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80764) - you deserved it (5015)

On 05/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: