About Jason_Q : October 6, 2011
Today, I am looking at some hot guy's profile by the name of Jason. He is 24 years young and he is 10x cuter and hotter than my boyfriend. FML
Fighting evil by moonlight
Making love until daylight
Never running from a real fight
He is the one named Sailor Jason
He will...never turn his back on a friend
He is... always there to defend
He is...the one on whom we can depend
He is the one named Sailor Jason
He is the one named Sailor Jason
He is the one . . . Sailor Jason!
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I love cheese and I am very sexy. I may have a crush on myself... LOLOLOLOL JK JK LOLOL!!!!
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Today, I spent the night with my guy, whom I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16960) - you deserved it (2926)
On 10/31/2009 at 12:31am - intimacy - by dtmfa (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25834) - you deserved it (6309)
On 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm - health - by Few_Absolutes (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29162) - you deserved it (7266)
On 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Sneezy123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I hired a private investigator to find out if my wife of 15 years is cheating on me with my brother. I don't know what's worse, that she is cheating on me, or that instead of cheating with my brother she's cheating with my brother's wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47146) - you deserved it (3892)
On 09/09/2009 at 5:20pm - love - by nick2.0 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9623) - you deserved it (48893)
On 08/29/2009 at 11:13am - love - by coolhand (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9655) - you deserved it (57205)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
I agree, your life sucks (71552) - you deserved it (4219)
On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I was working at the library. Some punks thought it would be funny to shit in a book, close it and return it in the drop box. The fact that it was sitting outside in the ninety degree heat for a couple hours did not help the stench; it was everywhere and I had to clean the mess. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48173) - you deserved it (2116)
On 07/02/2009 at 8:18pm - work - by alwaysxgettingxshitxon (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58353) - you deserved it (40963)
On 03/16/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whatdoyoudo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Friday 24 May 2013
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