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The Thumb strikes back
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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19647) - you deserved it (3012)
On 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm - misc - by Neversleepingthereagain (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29265) - you deserved it (2723)
On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28436) - you deserved it (2787)
On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)
Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32337) - you deserved it (1939)
On 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm - love - by melas303 - United States
Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5000) - you deserved it (16915)
On 11/13/2012 at 8:03pm - misc - by scaredinnyc - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4947) - you deserved it (19620)
On 11/02/2012 at 7:35am - work - by Hornymuch (woman) - Germany
Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17745) - you deserved it (1175)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by sadness - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18250) - you deserved it (1610)
On 08/15/2012 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29513) - you deserved it (2878)
Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18824) - you deserved it (1149)
On 06/12/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18118) - you deserved it (1245)
On 04/24/2012 at 7:50am - health - by hottygirl905 - United States (Florida)
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9702) - you deserved it (39875) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France
Today, I fell asleep on the couch while babysitting. When the kids' parents came home, they made fake crying noises to see if I would wake up. I slept like a baby, and by the time they finally roused me, I'd left a nice drool stain on the armrest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4630) - you deserved it (23752)
On 03/31/2012 at 10:52pm - misc - by whatnow - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was eating a meatball sub when a meatball fell out and rolled into my hair and all down my shirt. I couldn't find the missing meatball anywhere. I found it later, in my handbag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16387) - you deserved it (2785)
On 02/28/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by malloreigh (woman) - Australia
Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14332) - you deserved it (18828) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Monday 20 May 2013
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