Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jake_Bright

Search for a member

Jake_Bright

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1608
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Jake_Bright's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:10pm<b>Cromwellsandwich</b> - the 08/04/2009 at 1:34am

Jake_Bright's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Jake_Bright's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having an in depth discussion with my girlfriends father about how corrupt journalists are and how our town's paper is the worst paper on the planet. After insulting basically everything about the newspaper, I asked him what he did for a living. He's the editor of the newspaper. FML

#9130183
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11914) - you deserved it (41485)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:00pm - misc - by annonoymus - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23769) - you deserved it (10050)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML

#8993130
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17603) - you deserved it (4178)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:50am - intimacy - by StretchNuts - United States

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

#8966717
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12407) - you deserved it (25454)

On 03/10/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by ohno - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

#8875479
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23710) - you deserved it (3944)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML

#8634063
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11166) - you deserved it (37091)

On 02/25/2010 at 4:42am - love - by OmniVore (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I had my final economics exam, and needed to ace it, or else I would fail the entire module. After studying all day yesterday, and pulling an all-nighter today, I managed to pull it off and get a perfect score. Unfortunately, my teacher didn't believe that it was possible, and accused me of cheating. Now I may be thrown out of college. FML

#8617932
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36890) - you deserved it (2575)

On 02/24/2010 at 4:28pm - misc - by koolkidx3 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML

#8588296
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36653) - you deserved it (1993)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:57pm - love - by mrniceguy - United States

Today, I was checking out a gorgeous woman in spandex with beautiful flowing long black hair on the treadmill at the gym. I spent a few minutes just watching her body move and ripple under the material. She turned off the treadmill and got off, only for me to find out that it was a guy. FML

#8512491
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10718) - you deserved it (39980)

On 02/21/2010 at 10:16am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

#8406793
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16003) - you deserved it (4548)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by goldie09 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a really sweet poem that he wrote for me. I think it was secondhand - the first letter of each verse spelled his ex girlfriend's name. FML

#8347033
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27358) - you deserved it (1989)

On 02/16/2010 at 7:00pm - love - by blaze (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, like all days, my cat brought something to my doorstep. Usually it's a slew of dead mice; but today he decided to bring this big, ugly snake. I'm always the only one in my family 'brave' enough to go fetch our cat's gift. It took until lifting it up to realize the snake wasn't dead. FML

#8309732
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22401) - you deserved it (2553)

On 02/15/2010 at 7:08pm - animals - by Mary (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML

#7936537
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41594) - you deserved it (2104)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by Kelso (woman) - United States

Today, I was developing film at walmart. It started to get a little warm, so I began taking off my sweatshirt. This creepy old man approaches me, saying "You know, usually girls like you are paid to take their clothes off." FML

#7837856
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28805) - you deserved it (3851)

On 02/03/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by hotandbothered (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went out on my first date in 2 months. My sister and her friends were also at the same restaurant we went to. I decided to ignore them but they didn't. As a joke, they though it would be funny if her friend came up and said, "I had fun last night, we should do it again". My date left. FML

#7738687
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30900) - you deserved it (2292)

On 01/31/2010 at 8:35am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: