About JadeKnives : Well, I am a human, a strange one. That is all.
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16544) - you deserved it (1501)
Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19926) - you deserved it (7504)
On 09/05/2012 at 12:44am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17105) - you deserved it (1004)
On 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm - work - by FastFoodWaiter (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17561) - you deserved it (2585)
On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22877) - you deserved it (4388)
On 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Geckosrock99 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27049) - you deserved it (1361)
On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)
Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24604) - you deserved it (1122)
On 08/29/2012 at 1:32am - love - by SuzyTurquoiseBlu (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I'm apparently so desperate for companionship that my body has subconsciously synced my period with the girl who works in the cubicle adjacent to mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11464) - you deserved it (1569)
On 08/27/2012 at 2:20pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18314) - you deserved it (1340)
On 08/20/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by scared to leave the house (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31841) - you deserved it (3225)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21177) - you deserved it (2124)
On 07/25/2012 at 9:03am - love - by Unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27774) - you deserved it (1293)
On 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I woke up naked, duck taped to the wall with no memory of last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7720) - you deserved it (21671)
On 07/14/2012 at 1:49am - misc - by tapeissticky591 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139602) - you deserved it (32554)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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