Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

JadeKnives

Search for a member

JadeKnives

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 April 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1535
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About JadeKnives : Just message if you want to know stuff about me.

JadeKnives's page activity

Visits<b>amoredeniro</b> - 14 hours ago<b>elial</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 4:35am<b>Rebecca4826</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 6:04am<b>watchwhileusleep</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 3:21am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 1:53pm<b>tifdunc</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:26pm<b>awesommessofpies</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 10:48pm<b>lamalie</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 12:12am<b>carecow</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 10:14pm<b>jaminben</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 8:05pm<b>kaiyybee</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 10:54am<b>Bouh</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 2:39pm<b>Pixela7</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 10:42pm<b>LaurenFox</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 6:45pm<b>Funnyman324</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 3:28pm<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 4:19am<b>TrueTriage</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 3:33pm<b>Ruben_alves</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 3:12pm

JadeKnives's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of JadeKnives's badges

JadeKnives's favorite FMLs

Today, the "man cold" has infected my brother. He honestly thinks he's dying. He only has the sniffles. FML

#20982595
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34365) - you deserved it (3220)

On 12/06/2013 at 7:21am - health - by linzl00 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

Today, I found out that shirt sizes don't get longer, they get wider. Being 6ft4, every shirt I try on makes me look like a cheap stripper. FML

#20954733
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39444) - you deserved it (2847)

On 11/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by Pongy (man) -

Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML

#20950229
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35911) - you deserved it (19635)

On 11/08/2013 at 12:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51062) - you deserved it (5305)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61784) - you deserved it (4029)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85301) - you deserved it (6101)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37145) - you deserved it (10566)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, I found out my 13-year-old daughter thinks the showerhead got her pregnant. FML

Today, I have been home sick and depressed for so long that I just found Oreo crumbs in my belly button. FML

#20911052
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34459) - you deserved it (15668)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:55pm - health - by Sadness (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

#20910543
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43211) - you deserved it (7277)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56936) - you deserved it (3356)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50922) - you deserved it (7063)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: