About Jacobt24 : I live in Carlsbad, New Mexico which is home of the Carlsbad Caverns and Christmas on the Pecos. Favorite sport is football and the Denver Broncos will eventually be great again.
I also am always on my iPhone so if you have ever sent me a message, that's why I haven't responded. I will try and log in on the computer more often to avoid this.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my boyfriend opened the car door in a very kind and loving way. What wasn't so kind and loving was that my hand was still half-way when he closed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19497) - you deserved it (2461)
On 08/08/2011 at 2:11pm - health - by oops (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)
Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (46327) - you deserved it (3084)
On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was driving home from a long day at work fixing people's electronics. When I got home, I got a call from work saying I needed to go back and help a customer with their TV again. When I got there, after an hour of driving, I realized I'd accidentally kicked the power cord out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17021) - you deserved it (4016)
On 08/08/2011 at 1:30am - work - by Dispute (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19779) - you deserved it (4486)
On 08/07/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Wife - United States
Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21689) - you deserved it (13085)
On 08/07/2011 at 5:44pm - love - by Username - United States
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28634) - you deserved it (8928)
On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28641) - you deserved it (2480)
On 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8180) - you deserved it (65022)
On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)
Today, while leaving work, I noticed a woman struggling with her wheelchair. Trying to be kind, I grabbed the handles and began to push her. A few moments later, the front wheels caught on something and I ended up dumping her onto the ground. Now my coworkers all think I'm a huge douche. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24656) - you deserved it (3570)
On 08/02/2011 at 9:47pm - work - by t2t2sync - United States (New York)
Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18852) - you deserved it (60486)
On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43429) - you deserved it (7603)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33903) - you deserved it (11770)
On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States
Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32961) - you deserved it (5538)
On 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by cutiekenz21 - United States (Oregon)
Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8037) - you deserved it (52839)
On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31521) - you deserved it (5046)
On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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