Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jacobt24

Search for a member

Jacobt24

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 July 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3204
  • Number of comments : 369
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

About Jacobt24 : I live in Carlsbad, New Mexico which is home of the Carlsbad Caverns and Christmas on the Pecos. Favorite sport is football and the Denver Broncos will eventually be great again.

I also am always on my iPhone so if you have ever sent me a message, that's why I haven't responded. I will try and log in on the computer more often to avoid this.

Jacobt24's page activity

Visits<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:27am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 1:09pm<b>Ethann44</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 6:46pm<b>tiamacowicky</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 5:48pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:44pm<b>Xtraxt</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 5:41pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 6:15pm<b>dubb420</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 5:09pm<b>xZeroSanity</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 1:19pm<b>lilDerp</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 1:10am<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:13am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:22pm<b>jacobbouck</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:22pm<b>greekpride</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:48pm<b>Cruzg2017</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 6:03pm<b>rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:27pm<b>guskta</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:13pm<b>ItsKennyBaby</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 11:16pm

Liked!<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 7:28am

Jacobt24's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Jacobt24's badges

Jacobt24's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend opened the car door in a very kind and loving way. What wasn't so kind and loving was that my hand was still half-way when he closed it. FML

#17407697
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24515) - you deserved it (3330)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:11pm - health - by oops (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52458) - you deserved it (3500)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was driving home from a long day at work fixing people's electronics. When I got home, I got a call from work saying I needed to go back and help a customer with their TV again. When I got there, after an hour of driving, I realized I'd accidentally kicked the power cord out. FML

#17403392
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21813) - you deserved it (5384)

On 08/08/2011 at 1:30am - work - by Dispute (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML

#17400006
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25813) - you deserved it (5953)

On 08/07/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Wife - United States

Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML

#17398977
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26065) - you deserved it (14723)

On 08/07/2011 at 5:44pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35045) - you deserved it (10002)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

#17380404
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34801) - you deserved it (3356)

On 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9760) - you deserved it (72261)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

Today, while leaving work, I noticed a woman struggling with her wheelchair. Trying to be kind, I grabbed the handles and began to push her. A few moments later, the front wheels caught on something and I ended up dumping her onto the ground. Now my coworkers all think I'm a huge douche. FML

#17348241
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30161) - you deserved it (4906)

On 08/02/2011 at 9:47pm - work - by t2t2sync - United States (New York)

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21725) - you deserved it (66236)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51153) - you deserved it (9837)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

#17315983
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39535) - you deserved it (13229)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

#17313020
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39712) - you deserved it (7523)

On 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by cutiekenz21 - United States (Oregon)

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10002) - you deserved it (71430)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37441) - you deserved it (5601)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: