Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Jacobt24

Search for a member

Jacobt24

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 July 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2933
  • Number of comments : 369
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

About Jacobt24 : I live in Carlsbad, New Mexico which is home of the Carlsbad Caverns and Christmas on the Pecos. Favorite sport is football and the Denver Broncos will eventually be great again.

I also am always on my iPhone so if you have ever sent me a message, that's why I haven't responded. I will try and log in on the computer more often to avoid this.

Jacobt24's page activity

Visits<b>rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:27pm<b>guskta</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:13pm<b>ItsKennyBaby</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 11:16pm<b>Santiago1222</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 4:26pm<b>masonthemidget</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:36pm<b>bassguitar98</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:36am<b>teotsi</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:33am<b>ajk_157999</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 5:08pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 11:09pm<b>sexaybitch</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 7:53am<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 10:43pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 9:57am<b>bigclinc</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 10:24pm<b>Donkness</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 12:37pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:15am<b>binger_gitch</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 4:18pm<b>sourgirl101</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 7:30am<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 2:47pm

Jacobt24's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Jacobt24's badges

Jacobt24's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42254) - you deserved it (5056)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42254) - you deserved it (5056)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29746) - you deserved it (22165)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my father met my boyfriend for the first time at dinner. The only thing he said to him the whole evening was, "Are you circumcised?" FML

#18164044
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30661) - you deserved it (2901)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:59am - misc - by shamed - United Kingdom

Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML

#18015819
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31492) - you deserved it (9180)

On 10/18/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50715) - you deserved it (7984)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the closest I've ever been to being hit on was with a car in the school parking lot. Even then, the guy claimed he "didn't notice" me. FML

#17983991
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22805) - you deserved it (2587)

On 10/14/2011 at 6:40pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

#17960202
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33593) - you deserved it (8199)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

#17960202
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33593) - you deserved it (8199)

On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34397) - you deserved it (24571)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML

#17924502
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21349) - you deserved it (2867)

On 10/06/2011 at 11:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

#17880810
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39324) - you deserved it (5065)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Patricia - United States (Texas)

Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML

#17860948
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21594) - you deserved it (3678)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:01am - health - by random0605 - United States (Utah)

Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML

#17860948
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21594) - you deserved it (3678)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:01am - health - by random0605 - United States (Utah)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

#17838831
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36882) - you deserved it (6952)

On 09/26/2011 at 11:35am - intimacy - by Oops (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: