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JackIsHere's favorite FMLs
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
by habbsrule / 06/15/2012 at 10:21am / Canada / Kids
Today, while walking home, the gods were kind enough to grace me with the sight of an old man jogging past me in nothing but a pair of short shorts. The image of his balls swinging to and fro underneath like a pendulum has been forever burned into my retinas. FML
by someone / 07/29/2011 at 2:26pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my husband admitted to me that he has a mental block about touching my boobs, because he's afraid that breast milk is going to spurt out at him. I had my son 5 months ago and I don't breast feed. FML
by sunny_ca559 / 03/02/2010 at 8:03pm / United States / Health
by Dog fart / 02/13/2010 at 11:08am / United States / Animals
Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML
by Few_Absolutes / 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm / United States (Maryland) / Health
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
by policeopenup / 07/11/2009 at 3:38pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Fag_Hag / 02/05/2009 at 8:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
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