About JTthePurpleNinja : I say what I think. I go on FML when I'm bored. I think grammar nazis are just as bad as the people they criticize.
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Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44834) - you deserved it (5781)
On 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)
Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6717) - you deserved it (54759)
On 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Brea - United States (Missouri)
Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27343) - you deserved it (2765)
On 01/21/2011 at 10:13am - health - by chelseaface (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7576) - you deserved it (23870)
On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5404) - you deserved it (45524)
On 01/10/2011 at 3:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25410) - you deserved it (3605)
On 01/03/2011 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around. He threw me over his shoulder and turned around, smacking my face against the wall. Then he smacked my head into the fridge after turning round to see "what that loud bang" was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27561) - you deserved it (3059)
On 12/18/2010 at 4:11am - love - by anonymous - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20881) - you deserved it (14985)
On 12/11/2010 at 1:00am - intimacy - by caligirl921 - United States
Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30291) - you deserved it (2018)
On 12/10/2010 at 11:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30291) - you deserved it (2018)
On 12/10/2010 at 11:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I discovered my parents took me to a specialist when I was a baby because they thought I had a facial deformity. It turns out I'm just ugly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28611) - you deserved it (2342)
On 11/26/2010 at 7:23pm - misc - by bleh (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (15887) - you deserved it (27943)
On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my best friend thought it would look cool if I recorded her swinging while lying under the swing. She ended up kicking me in the face and laughing so hard she pissed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28606) - you deserved it (14121)
On 08/14/2010 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7028) - you deserved it (33855)
On 08/13/2010 at 8:56pm - health - by thatsucks4u - United States (California)
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32937) - you deserved it (9010)
On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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