About JTthePurpleNinja : I say what I think. I go on FML when I'm bored. I think grammar nazis are just as bad as the people they criticize.
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Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15150) - you deserved it (66969)
On 06/07/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by zep (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I called over my math teacher to ask a question. I have a really bad cold. I asked him about a problem and he reached over my desk to point at the diagram and explain it. Then I suddenly had to sneeze and I got tons of snot all over his hand and arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37593) - you deserved it (7010)
On 06/06/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by lft (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was dealing with a psychiatric patient with a colonostomy bag. She got agitated and ripped the bag from her abdomen and threw it at my face. I got a bag filled with poop thrown at my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45815) - you deserved it (2147)
On 05/28/2009 at 1:04am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24486) - you deserved it (103729)
On 05/07/2009 at 7:36am - animals - by MJ3105 (man) - Israel
Today, at work I grabbed some customer keys off the board. I was checking out their cool flashlight keychain. At the exact moment I realized it wasn't a keychain, I pepper sprayed myself directly in the right eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11254) - you deserved it (48670)
On 04/28/2009 at 3:47am - work - by jdubious (man) - United States
Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38684) - you deserved it (15574)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was getting ready to get in the shower. Completely naked, I pulled the curtain away and there was a huge spider on the wall in the shower. I screamed and my husband, disoriented from sleeping, came running in and knocked me over. I killed the spider with my forehead and broke my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62259) - you deserved it (6517)
On 04/03/2009 at 5:07am - animals - by sodaxpopxhiccups (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97025) - you deserved it (6009)
On 03/24/2009 at 1:47am - work - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33066) - you deserved it (115246)
On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Mason_Jayson - United States (Iowa)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (193581) - you deserved it (21247)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I typed an essay on my friend's computer, so she forwarded it to me in a email and she made the subject "here bitch" as a joke. I then went to email the essay to my teacher. I forwarded it thinking nothing of it only to realize that I didn't change the subject name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16321) - you deserved it (43228)
On 03/01/2009 at 3:00pm - misc - by Brittany (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year - "why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" he replied - "opposites attract." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36964) - you deserved it (22651)
On 02/28/2009 at 1:55pm - love - by sprocket (woman) - Hong Kong
Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year - "why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" he replied - "opposites attract." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36964) - you deserved it (22651)
On 02/28/2009 at 1:55pm - love - by sprocket (woman) - Hong Kong
Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12791) - you deserved it (43174)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by AppoKing (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (493863) - you deserved it (44116)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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