JTthePurpleNinja

Search for a member

JTthePurpleNinja

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 October 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3728
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About JTthePurpleNinja : I say what I think. I go on FML when I'm bored. I think grammar nazis are just as bad as the people they criticize.

JTthePurpleNinja's page activity

Visits<b>lenovot61p</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 10:34am<b>FrazzleApple</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 10:57pm<b>SilverKing</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 2:07am<b>loonmtnman</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 10:08pm<b>trey600rr</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 11:41pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 11:35am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 7:24pm<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 8:42pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 3:45pm<b>OMG_132</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:55pm<b>Nooblah</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 3:00am<b>mcflychicken420</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 9:41am<b>loganHchrist</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 11:01pm<b>SasaCeceGogo</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 7:49pm<b>frozen61</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 7:25am<b>natewilton</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 4:25pm<b>ButterPopcorn</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 2:02pm<b>auriane</b> - the 08/30/2012 at 1:30pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 1:24am<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:42am

JTthePurpleNinja's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of JTthePurpleNinja's badges

JTthePurpleNinja's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

by Cracky / 11/27/2012 at 9:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML

by 99Problemsandfml / 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Kids

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

by Watchtower? More like fortress. / 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my son's school saying to pick him up because he'd shat his pants. He's in high school. FML

by Mike / 10/16/2012 at 4:07am / United States / Kids

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

by WTF / 10/12/2012 at 7:00pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

by hnickell93 / 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals