Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

JTthePurpleNinja

Search for a member

JTthePurpleNinja

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 15 October 1994 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1730
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About JTthePurpleNinja : I say what I think. I go on FML when I'm bored. I think grammar nazis are just as bad as the people they criticize.

JTthePurpleNinja's page activity

Visits<b>Nooblah</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 3:00am<b>mcflychicken420</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 9:41am<b>loganHchrist</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 11:01pm<b>SasaCeceGogo</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 7:49pm<b>frozen61</b> - the 04/08/2013 at 7:25am<b>natewilton</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 4:25pm<b>ButterPopcorn</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 2:02pm<b>auriane</b> - the 08/30/2012 at 1:30pm<b>lcecreamNSadness</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 6:31pm<b>Tadeusz</b> - the 07/14/2011 at 12:58pm

JTthePurpleNinja's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of JTthePurpleNinja's badges

JTthePurpleNinja's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

#20933932
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42878) - you deserved it (6481)

On 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm - animals - by kiwibox - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31485) - you deserved it (10598)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML

#20927250
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44597) - you deserved it (5499)

On 10/20/2013 at 8:39am - health - by cantcloselegs (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that what my husband meant by "we should try swinging" is "I really want to have sex with this one friend of yours, and if you so much as make eye contact with any guy I'm going to totally flip out and threaten to kill him and you." FML

#20560730
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48932) - you deserved it (6482)

On 03/26/2013 at 8:07am - intimacy - by SwinginSolo (woman) - United States

Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21946) - you deserved it (48036)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

#20524572
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33964) - you deserved it (7104)

On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

#20524189
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37828) - you deserved it (6007)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33110) - you deserved it (4960)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

#20513411
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42744) - you deserved it (2237)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31890) - you deserved it (5452)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

#20507523
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38911) - you deserved it (8405)

On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

#20433657
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29974) - you deserved it (5068)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML

#20413058
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32402) - you deserved it (2747)

On 12/22/2012 at 3:06am - work - by Iknoweverything (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31142) - you deserved it (3244)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: