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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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JSmith08

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JSmith08
  • Town/Country : Davis Junction, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 November 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 12688
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JSmith08's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML

#4730526 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (26370) - you deserved it (2749)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:29am - kids - by naughtyshirt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

#4713882 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (28199) - you deserved it (2851)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

#4699130 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (9786) - you deserved it (33530)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (47612) - you deserved it (2250)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I had my sweet sixteen party. All my best friends came to the microphone to make a little speech. When my boyfriend came to do his, he broke up with me. FML

#4687327 (207)

I agree, your life sucks (49220) - you deserved it (3817)

On 08/20/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by 16isntsweet (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML

#4679110 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (34982) - you deserved it (98543)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I threw a party while my parents were gone. I forgot that our alarm automatically turns on at 11 pm, so when people opened the door, it went off. I couldn't find the number for the alarm company, so the cops showed up. Everyone started cheering because they thought they were strippers. FML

#4646350 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (8013) - you deserved it (35092)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by Life of the party - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (48198) - you deserved it (8639)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!" FML

#4630669 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (74613) - you deserved it (4457)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

#4619260 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (61166) - you deserved it (4233)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a text from my girlfriend to break up with me. I was upset. One minute later another text from her said "sorry, wrong person." FML

#4618484 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (51381) - you deserved it (2172)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Kazakhstan (Almaty)

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

#4604892 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (38620) - you deserved it (4797)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by JayBausch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, and then he said, "Lets pretend you are someone else." FML

#4590136 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (45332) - you deserved it (3701)

On 08/17/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by somebodyelse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML

#4585306 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (33029) - you deserved it (3826)

On 08/16/2009 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by missingcharlie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (47234) - you deserved it (7291)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)