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JSal

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JSal

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 162
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JSal's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of JSal's badges

JSal's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned the hard way that when I ask a cute girl if she's artistic, it sounds like I'm asking her if she's autistic. FML

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML

#21086642
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51458) - you deserved it (6515)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML

#21084031
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35940) - you deserved it (3913)

On 03/11/2014 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47907) - you deserved it (9536)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my neighbor had a word with me for being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action for two years now, but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML

#21063667
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35936) - you deserved it (6269)

On 02/17/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by I must suck at singing (woman) - United States

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

#21061712
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43932) - you deserved it (5645)

On 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at work, a customer asked me to unlock the restroom for them. I honestly couldn't figure out which gender they were, but I didn't want to be rude and ask, so I took a chance. I unlocked the wrong one. FML

#21056381
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43864) - you deserved it (5204)

On 02/10/2014 at 3:48pm - work - by elizabethkalyn (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52148) - you deserved it (18491)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

#21050725
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35859) - you deserved it (40315)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML

#21014374
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42233) - you deserved it (4531)

On 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43954) - you deserved it (5280)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML

#21003547
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39878) - you deserved it (3569)

On 12/24/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML

#21000521
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37507) - you deserved it (10234)

On 12/21/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66738) - you deserved it (5558)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)



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