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Today, I was watching Pokémon with my daughter when she told me that I reminded her of her favorite Pokémon. Feeling good about it, I asked which one. She pointed to the screen and said "Snorlax!" The fat and lazy one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15121) - you totally deserved it (3708)
On 11/15/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by dessaye (woman) - Singapore
Today, I was at a store and came across a Halloween candy isle. I got so excited that I began talking to the candy, in a fake British accent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4170) - you totally deserved it (24005)
On 10/18/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by mojozk (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25057) - you totally deserved it (2301)
On 10/06/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by roomie487 - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31730) - you totally deserved it (2588)
On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11987) - you totally deserved it (2112)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I had an art class with my girlfriend. The teacher assigned "anti-cards", or cards for unusual or bad occasions. My girlfriend decided to make a "break-up" card, and I helped her write the poem inside it. After class, she gave it to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28095) - you totally deserved it (3604)
On 09/14/2009 at 2:54pm - love - by UnluckyArtist (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Thinking I was being cute I spelled out "Marry Me" in alphabet soup, because that's her favorite. She took one look at it and started to laugh. She then began to spell out "no". She still ate the soup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27354) - you totally deserved it (3688)
On 09/14/2009 at 5:56am - misc - by alphabetman (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31825) - you totally deserved it (2193)
On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, my parents told me they wouldn't be able to afford my senior portraits. That was fine with me, until I found some expensive professional photos in the mail. Of our dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31337) - you totally deserved it (932)
On 09/13/2009 at 12:44pm - misc - by sarahpft (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was visiting my girlfriend's house to meet her parents. We were having a nice conversation and her mom then asked "What have you done recently that was great?" I replied without thinking "Your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6781) - you totally deserved it (53018)
On 09/03/2009 at 11:38am - love - by butshewasgreat (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25134) - you totally deserved it (2821)
On 08/24/2009 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21566) - you totally deserved it (9973)
On 08/24/2009 at 5:57am - intimacy - by Mattyboy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I discovered that the medicated eye drops I have been taking to fight a mild eye infection show up under black lights when I walked into a party and the whole left side of my face was glowing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19577) - you totally deserved it (1816)
On 08/23/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by SummerGirl0009 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38194) - you totally deserved it (1327)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was approached by the head cheerleader, and she asked for my number. I was so excited that I gave it to her without question. Then she smiled, and walked away. Too bad my girlfriend was right behind me when it happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3501) - you totally deserved it (54900)
On 08/11/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by A.L.Woody - United States (Colorado)
