About JRFaceless : Jo mei hen, verre, da žal maaa
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Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22082) - you deserved it (2380)
On 08/30/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my roommate told me that unscented deodorant prevents ingrown hairs on the bikini line. She shared this beauty tip with me when I caught her using my Lady Speed Stick on her snatch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24658) - you deserved it (1803)
On 08/17/2011 at 5:14am - intimacy - by AllieOops (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22025) - you deserved it (2347)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36330) - you deserved it (10768)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34173) - you deserved it (1978)
On 07/23/2011 at 5:27pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, while working as a cashier at McDonald's, a man came in telling me that he had not received his hamburger. I looked at his receipt and the date said 11/17/09. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26615) - you deserved it (2576)
On 07/04/2011 at 5:42am - work - by crudofalife - United States (Illinois)
Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22476) - you deserved it (9751) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Hum - Switzerland (Ticino)
Today, as a part of my job, I took a couple around to look at houses that are on sale. After driving them around and looking at tons of houses, the wife said, "Okay. I think we have enough decorating ideas." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24175) - you deserved it (1767)
On 06/30/2011 at 11:08pm - work - by Rachael (woman) - United States
Today, my parents found my stash of alcohol. They drank it all within a single evening. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12650) - you deserved it (21584)
On 06/30/2011 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54429) - you deserved it (4984)
On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had the most exciting dream of my life. I was dreaming about catching a shiny charmander. I'm 15, and instead of dreaming of girls, I'm dreaming of Pokémon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24505) - you deserved it (12494)
On 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by wispywee - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I left early from a trashy dance and bought a soda at a Shell station. The clerk asked me if I had been smoking weed. When I replied "No", he said "You mean you always look like that?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24755) - you deserved it (3848)
On 06/19/2011 at 2:38am - misc - by notastoner (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38171) - you deserved it (4646)
On 06/16/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by mike oxsmall - United States
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35893) - you deserved it (2403)
On 06/15/2011 at 12:42pm - health - by Braxam - United States
Today, I invited over my best friend, whom I've loved for over a year, since she had to tell me "something important". I got excited and thought she was going to tell me she loved me too. She ended up coming out to me, and wanted to know if I would meet her girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34266) - you deserved it (4218)
On 06/14/2011 at 2:06pm - love - by :( (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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