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JM1120

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JM1120

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 169
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JM1120's page activity

Visits<b>MalloryCW</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 4:32pm<b>Narek2</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 3:09am

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JM1120's favorite FMLs

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57298) - you deserved it (9329)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

#20684142
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67330) - you deserved it (5642)

On 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49992) - you deserved it (7009)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98608) - you deserved it (5975)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML

#20662282
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63726) - you deserved it (4980)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:15am - intimacy - by magomag (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50172) - you deserved it (11329)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45635) - you deserved it (6112)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64672) - you deserved it (5956)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML

#20405613
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10926) - you deserved it (57809)

On 12/18/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by junkie (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44672) - you deserved it (3896)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11243) - you deserved it (37809)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37576) - you deserved it (16335)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (166518) - you deserved it (8217)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

#20313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93496) - you deserved it (5131)

On 02/10/2009 at 10:08am - misc - by imalilangel05 (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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