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JJ_TheJetPlane

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JJ_TheJetPlane
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 219
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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JJ_TheJetPlane's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML

#3330800 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (36144) - you deserved it (10873)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Asterisk1009 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, was my senior prom. I've had a crush on my date for months, but after many attempts at grinding with him and sexy seduction, he rejected me saying he was a good Catholic boy. I later found out that not only is he in touch with his religion, but intimately in touch with other boys. FML

#2871893 (48)

I agree, your life sucks (36301) - you deserved it (4350)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by failatboys (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

#2855395 (406)

I agree, your life sucks (64133) - you deserved it (2230)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

#2736001 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (67658) - you deserved it (3587)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML

#2414317 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (13286) - you deserved it (44924)

On 05/29/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by theskippster - United States (Maryland)

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

#2209832 (393)

I agree, your life sucks (41162) - you deserved it (15449)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States

Today, I went to a dollar store with a couple friends to buy cap guns to play with. We were having a lot of fun with them, and took them onto a bus. 5 minutes later, three cops got on, handcuffed us, and sternly talked to us about the dangers of guns. We got arrested for toy guns. We are 17. FML

#2204449 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (13059) - you deserved it (38802)

On 05/23/2009 at 3:37am - misc - by arrestedgun (man) - Canada

Today, I went to a chinese restaurant with my asian girlfriend. When she went into the bathroom I practiced saying "Can we have sex" in chinese which is where she is from. After saying it a few times out loud, a waiter walked by and stared at me. When he gave me the check he included his number. FML

#2189119 (246)

I agree, your life sucks (16703) - you deserved it (48639)

On 05/22/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML

#1619469 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (48974) - you deserved it (20075)

On 05/04/2009 at 5:09am - kids - by Amey (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked into a restaurant with my parents to celebrate my Mom's birthday. They immediately got a kid's menu and crayons out for me. I'm 15. FML

#1588127 (328)

I agree, your life sucks (40604) - you deserved it (5840)

On 05/03/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by TooShort (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called my mom for the first time in a few weeks, just to chat because I miss her. When she picked up, the first thing she said was, "Why are you calling? What's wrong? Do you have swine flu??" When I told her that I didn't, and I just wanted to chat, she hung up. FML

#1513141 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (45999) - you deserved it (2767)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was carrying some luggage downstairs to put in my car to head back to college. My brother told me my shoes were untied. He said he would tie them for me as I was carrying luggage. I fell down the stairs because he thought it would be funny to tie them together. FML

#979706 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (38641) - you deserved it (7692)

On 04/14/2009 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was putting the finishing touches on my portrait of a young boy in art class. I asked my teacher if she could help correct the bad parts of my portrait. She said, "Well that would take all day and I just don't have the time." She was serious. I thought this was my best work yet. FML

#848613 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (46232) - you deserved it (3353)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by offended (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML

#786603 (356)

I agree, your life sucks (21103) - you deserved it (60249)

On 04/03/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by ShamedJP (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a 7 year old girl randomly came up to me and told me to fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to fuck myself as well. FML

#696283 (538)

I agree, your life sucks (159053) - you deserved it (14430)

On 03/30/2009 at 1:06am - kids - by Wmsys32pr9 (man) - United States (Washington)