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JGiraffe

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JGiraffe

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  • Number of visits : 368
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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JGiraffe's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18496) - you deserved it (3090)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland

Today, I babysat for a woman for the first time. When I arrived, there was a large pile of dishes in the sink. I decided to wash the dishes for her while the kids napped. She came home, noticed it, and bitched me out over how I'd only done it "to try and get more money" out of her. What? FML

#20048491
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25643) - you deserved it (1723)

On 08/29/2012 at 9:03pm - misc - by never again - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

#20038541
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32930) - you deserved it (1630)

On 08/24/2012 at 12:08am - health - by Neurocardiogenic Syncope - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I was pretty upset, so one of my guy friends offered to comfort me and get some ice cream. Apparently his definition of "comforting" is to feel my tits and try to get me to give him head. FML

#20034633
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33321) - you deserved it (5285)

On 08/21/2012 at 9:59pm - intimacy - by m (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18635) - you deserved it (6728)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

#19861407
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6224) - you deserved it (80587)

On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)

Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML

#19363371
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8904) - you deserved it (25192)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

#19225607
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16097) - you deserved it (5920)

On 03/06/2012 at 2:20am - misc - by BlueBirdWings (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML

#18945896
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14910) - you deserved it (41302)

On 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by brannie - United States

Today, my mom made me teach my delusional gran web browsing. I barely made it to YouTube before she sneered at me, and told me to "stop pissing about before I smash your face in." Two hours and multiple slaps later, she still doesn't get what a URL is, and I fear for my life. FML

#17783230
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23905) - you deserved it (2595)

On 09/19/2011 at 8:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

#17690581
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21008) - you deserved it (3862)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML

#17306841
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18551) - you deserved it (75233)

On 07/30/2011 at 5:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

#17176050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27560) - you deserved it (6088)

On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States

Today, I moved into my new house. I went over to my neighbors' house to introduce myself. As they opened the door I saw a telescope pointed at my house. FML

#17066979
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33176) - you deserved it (2553)

On 07/11/2011 at 2:16pm - misc - by BMike - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

#15903380
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33536) - you deserved it (9597)

On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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