JCHammer

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JCHammer

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 June 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 872
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About JCHammer : My name is Justus and I enjoy a few Kevin Bacon movies also I love lasagnia. I love music, friends and stuff. If you want to, massage me and I'll return the favor ;)

JCHammer's page activity

Visits<b>21PGreenDay</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 7:53pm<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 12:00am<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 10:39pm<b>countingstairs</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:43am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 1:12am<b>zombielettuce</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 12:26pm<b>arrrrrlennie</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 10:18pm<b>RZW</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 2:44pm<b>Attica</b> - the 10/14/2012 at 9:45am<b>Eivana</b> - the 09/25/2012 at 12:18am<b>erpaderp</b> - the 10/16/2011 at 8:11pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:21pm<b>MissBunnyWillEat</b> - the 07/17/2011 at 1:07am<b>MissBunny255</b> - the 05/23/2011 at 10:16pm<b>MissBunny25</b> - the 04/26/2011 at 7:26pm<b>ChibiChibi</b> - the 03/30/2011 at 12:35am<b>Althos</b> - the 03/26/2011 at 10:42pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 4:07am

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JCHammer's favorite FMLs

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

by scully11 / 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

by shelby / 03/30/2011 at 12:54am / United States / Health

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

by nosleeptilpissoff / 03/18/2011 at 11:54am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

by insomnitude / 03/05/2011 at 1:55am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

by WhatsThatSmell / 02/25/2011 at 8:25am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation

Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

by Summer_Jane / 02/03/2011 at 5:40am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the phone. After a while, I realised he was just delaying while pleasuring himself to the sound of my voice. FML

by Milly / 01/30/2011 at 2:25pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy

Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML

by duckthehack / 01/28/2011 at 9:25am / Poland (Wielkopolskie) / Kids

Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML

by Limalia / 01/24/2011 at 4:00pm / Switzerland (Zurich) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML

by Wino / 12/04/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous