About JCHammer : My name is Justus and I enjoy a few Kevin Bacon movies also I love lasagnia. I love music, friends and stuff. If you want to, massage me and I'll return the favor ;)
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Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25667) - you deserved it (2098)
On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27820) - you deserved it (18868)
On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States
Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23280) - you deserved it (4526)
On 03/18/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by nosleeptilpissoff (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43317) - you deserved it (5132)
On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -
Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43317) - you deserved it (5132)
On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -
Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43317) - you deserved it (5132)
On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10315) - you deserved it (52809)
On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10315) - you deserved it (52809)
On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10315) - you deserved it (52809)
On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30712) - you deserved it (9862)
On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25303) - you deserved it (3188)
On 02/25/2011 at 8:25am - misc - by WhatsThatSmell (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32975) - you deserved it (3189)
On 02/03/2011 at 5:40am - health - by Summer_Jane (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the phone. After a while, I realised he was just delaying while pleasuring himself to the sound of my voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26728) - you deserved it (2827)
On 01/30/2011 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by Milly (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31114) - you deserved it (7528)
On 01/28/2011 at 9:25am - kids - by duckthehack (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)
Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26883) - you deserved it (8460)
On 01/24/2011 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Limalia (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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