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JCHammer

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JCHammer
  • Town/Country : Virginia, USA!
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 June 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 476
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About JCHammer : My name is Justus and I enjoy a few Kevin Bacon movies also I love lasagnia. I love music, friends and stuff. If you want to, massage me and I'll return the favor ;)

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JCHammer's favorite FMLs

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

#17344218
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30117) - you deserved it (2765)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by scully11 (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML

#15555921
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32004) - you deserved it (24010)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

#15366508
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26297) - you deserved it (5525)

On 03/18/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by nosleeptilpissoff (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML

#15317842
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48012) - you deserved it (6233)

On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -

Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML

#15317842
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48012) - you deserved it (6233)

On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -

Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML

#15317842
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48012) - you deserved it (6233)

On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

#15296176
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10497) - you deserved it (53720)

On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

#15296176
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10497) - you deserved it (53720)

On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

#15296176
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10497) - you deserved it (53720)

On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML

#15203950
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34880) - you deserved it (11886)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by insomnitude (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

#15112625
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26634) - you deserved it (3665)

On 02/25/2011 at 8:25am - misc - by WhatsThatSmell (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the phone. After a while, I realised he was just delaying while pleasuring himself to the sound of my voice. FML

#14775233
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30881) - you deserved it (3437)

On 01/30/2011 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by Milly (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML

#14741730
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34448) - you deserved it (7893)

On 01/28/2011 at 9:25am - kids - by duckthehack (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)

Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML

#14699033
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30969) - you deserved it (9095)

On 01/24/2011 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Limalia (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)



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