Issy_Marie

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Offline (the 07/07/2015 at 3:50pm)

Issy_Marie

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2112
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Issy_Marie : Naps

Issy_Marie's page activity

Visits<b>BicBoi996</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 6:25pm<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 10:50pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 12:13am<b>andy594328</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 5:57pm<b>Manosapo</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 1:22pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 12:07pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 2:52am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 1:54pm<b>woiz</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 2:04pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 8:48am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 11:56pm<b>Arni792</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 6:59am<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:25am<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 1:04am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:07pm<b>KawaiiSushii</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 10:23pm<b>Garrison21</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 8:07pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 6:18pm

Fucked!<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 6:13am

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Issy_Marie's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 11:20am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm / United Arab Emirates (Dubai) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

by RedWaters / 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

by JimmyT / 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum got the idea of switching to a different dishwashing detergent. The new one is so strong that it coats all the dishes in a nauseating perfume-like smell. It's so pungent that it gets absorbed into everything we eat or drink. She's determined to use up the entire bottle. FML

by selena5112 / 02/15/2013 at 1:50pm / Norway (Troms) / Health

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Money

Today, really desperate to get a job, I filled out an application for a dishwashing job. My application got tossed out, because I'm not an economics major like the other guy applying for the same job. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2013 at 12:55pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Work