Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

IsotropicMurphy

Search for a member

IsotropicMurphy
  • Town/Country : France
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 May 1981 (32 years)
  • Number of visits : 286
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About IsotropicMurphy : For years I've been testing Murphy's laws (the hard way) in many countries: they never fail!

IsotropicMurphy's last visitors

RiileyCorinnaHEYnerdsgetmehot

IsotropicMurphy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

IsotropicMurphy's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML

#16574286
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28339) - you deserved it (5252)

On 06/09/2011 at 3:20am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML

#16548173
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35075) - you deserved it (9902)

On 06/07/2011 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by Punk (man) - United States

Today, my Facebook was hacked. The hacker messaged all my online friends, explaining that "I" was overseas, had run out of money and needed help. Not one person cared enough to respond. I guess the hacker picked the wrong target. FML

#16543597
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29897) - you deserved it (4231)

On 06/07/2011 at 8:10am - money - by Username - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovered my mother went into the local pub where I work part time, got very drunk, and flashed her boobs at everyone. I found out when a picture was posted on Facebook. FML

#16527434
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28522) - you deserved it (2125)

On 06/06/2011 at 9:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and window open. My dad faked a robbery to see me freak out. FML

#16525233
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31663) - you deserved it (6180)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:06am - misc - by dwhite032 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I used a fire extinguisher for the first time. Too bad it was on my car. FML

#16523437
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23795) - you deserved it (2982)

On 06/06/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41977) - you deserved it (3131)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52825) - you deserved it (4073)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

#16375821
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34603) - you deserved it (5415)

On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got in a car accident on the way to work. I received an abusive phone call from my boss saying he shouldn't have to cover my lazy ass. I was driving to cover his shift because he was too drunk to show up to work. FML

#15642936
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28260) - you deserved it (2117)

On 04/04/2011 at 10:03pm - work - by patch91 -

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (384611) - you deserved it (61662)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80723) - you deserved it (30129)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: